From Her Company to Mine: How to Survive a Breakup 101
This is for anyone going through a breakup. You will survive. I know it’s hard right now. But you got this.
My breakup last year sucked. But the decision was best for the both of us. The sadness compelled me to stare life in the face and stumble upon a familiar adage — life is short. My analytical-self even retrieved the numbers:
The universe is 13.82 billion years old. Earth is 4.54 billion years old. Modern humans have been around for 200,000 years and civilization as we know it — 6,000 years. The average human lives 79 years. To compound our brevity of existence, the probability of being alive is 1 in 400 trillion (or so they say). We are walking miracles. We should maximize our time here.
And yet, I did not. For a while, at least. I acquainted myself with the loneliness until I taxed my mental and physical reserves. Things needed to get better. To survive. I finished university; we just began our lives!
I decided to move on.
I did silly things in retrospect, although necessary at the moment. How to refrain from contact? Practice willpower elsewhere. I brushed my teeth with my left hand, I made my bed more often. I googled, “How to move on from a breakup.” I read research. More importantly, I surrounded myself with the best of friends. I started a company. I began cooking what had been on the back burner for some time.
Being busy catalyzed my recovery — doing so nursed me from my trough to equilibrium. Doing what I loved, in particular, heaved me higher. I met interesting people, scribbled on the whiteboard, and spread my thoughts and colourful sticky notes on tables. I fell in love again — this time, with something, not someone. Building something I cared about saved me.
Relationships are like startups. You create a startup, wide-eyed and excited. If things turn awry, you pivot. And pivot, and pivot, and pivot until one of two things occur: you commit to growth or dissolve your venture. Same with your partner. You either create solutions to problems, or give out, which is not necessarily bad. Sometimes, moving on with your learnings introduces you to new opportunities. New people. You hinge on this journey of discovery.
I urge you — find your “company.” A hobby, a project, your career — whatever challenges you to become a better person. That pushes you out of your comfort zone. That grows you. Who knows, one day, someone will spark your interest. And together, you build again.
