How to Create Connection in Isolation

Practical Methods to Combat Loneliness

I am lucky.

I have a roommate with whom I share a wonderful relationship. We are friends, we engage regularly and we (for the most part) mindfully share our space.

In fact, in my last piece I ranked my roommate #2 on a list of things for which I was grateful. She was on the list because few people are blessed to have a co-quaratiner with whom they share such a relationship. Others yet are isolated with nobody at all.

The detrimental effects of extended isolation are devastating.

While taking time to yourself is essential for your health, too much of it is, frankly, terrible for you. It has been linked to both mental and physical health deterioration including: depression, suicide, cardiovascular disease and stroke.

As safer-at-home and shelter-in-place orders stand, isolation and distancing are the new normal. Cultivating connection in this new landscape is key to your health and wellness. But how exactly does one generate connection in isolation?

Help someone.

This crisis has left millions of people in dire need of help. Volunteering will not only connect you to other people, it will also connect you to a higher sense of purpose. It will help you feel useful and capable. Most importantly, you’ll be an active part of the solution.

You don’t have to be a medical professional or an essential worker to be a participant in this fight. People are struggling in a myriad of ways and everyone can lend a hand. Some ways to safely and responsibly help out include:

• Donate blood.
• Start a mutual aid network (or locate one).
• Call a local non-profit and inquire about volunteering.
• Check on your neighbors.
• Donate to a local food bank.
• Donate money to any of the dozens of programs to help those out of work.
• Make masks.

Practice gratitude.

If you’ve read my writing you know I swear by gratitude. I practice it whenever and wherever I can. It works wonders in every area of your life but can be a great tool for cultivating connection too. The key here is to focus on the people you’re grateful for.

Think about who you’re looking forward most to hugging when social distancing is eased. Meditate on and visualize the things you’ll do with them. Ruminate on their best traits and the way they make you feel. Write these down and tell them what you wrote.

And then…

Do activities together.

Technology is a great. The luxuries of FaceTime and Zoom are god-sends. But random FaceTime dates can feel forced and contrived. They can be awkward and create feelings of separation rather than connection.

So instead of Zooming just to talk, make an activity out of it. FaceTime and play video games online. Play a game of trivia over Skype. Wine taste over Zoom. Meet for a cup of coffee.

The most connective thing about a shared experience are the bits we actually share. It’s the ambience of the restaurant, the vibe of the live show, the smell of the bar. We derive connection not only from each other, but from the very things we do together.

Another great idea is to workout together. You can take an online class or develop your own routine. This has multiple benefits. Not only does it hold you accountable, but it also gives you a buddy to commiserate with during the hard bits. Not to mention it’ll send your endorphins through the roof!

Don’t have a friend who wants to workout with you? This F45 franchise is offering a pay-what-you-can plan for a 40-minute HIIT workout. You have the same trainers every week so you get to know the people you’re working with as they train you in a fun and engaging way.

Maintain/create your routine.

“You are what you repeatedly do.”- Aristotle

Your routine is the key to who you are. It is the doorway to your connection with yourself and your purpose.

That connection to purpose is just as important as a connection to others. A routine fosters that connection. It keeps us grounded. It shows us who we are and points us toward who we want to be. Without it we are in grave danger of listlessness, spiraling and depression.

In this pandemic isolation isn’t only inevitable, it is essential. Your isolation is your duty. We all have to sacrifice to achieve the greater goal, and in that sacrifice we all have to give up parts of ourselves.

Many of us won’t have to risk our lives. Instead our sacrifice will be the daunting prospect of extended isolation. Dangerous and devastating though that can be, if we master these tools of connectivity, everyone’s sacrifice can be a little bit smaller.