How To End The Pain
I think the only way to heal, is to give yourself time. The period of time, depends of course on what trauma, loss or pain you went through.
The problem does not lie within time itself, rather the impatience we all face in the process of healing. We want things to happen now and not later, because why should we wait? Why should we wait when everything in life is express delivery and fast tracks?
The only thing technology cannot influence is the healing of the pain a heart went through. The scars can’t be seen nor touched. The pain is invisible to the physical eye and the physical world. It is only seen by God and the universe. Only God can heal a scarred heart; a person emotionally broken. In that sense, prayer is advised and needed.
Time is one of the very few valuable things we are left with in this generation. It is so underrated and unappreciated, it passes us by. We can’t get it back no matter how fast we run after it. We can wish as hard as we want to get it back, when we’ve noticed it was a gift when it was given to us. The whole adventure lies within the journey within time and not the destination of “I finally reached salvation”. It is exactly like climbing up a mountain. It does not feel the same when you take the cable railway up the mountain. The beauty and the relief comes whilst you suffer and get wounded throughout the journey up. Once you reach the mountaintop, your in loss of words and nothing needs to be said to describe the feeling inside. And so, the same thing applies to the healing of the heart.
To me, taking the cable railway up a mountain is like jumping from relationship to relationship, in order not to face putting back the pieces of a broken heart. It is the easiest thing to do, just as easy as jumping into a railway cabin. However, at first, it does seem scary to be held off the ground by two cables. If they were to snap at any moment, it would be a very tragic accident for all the passengers. Jumping into a new relationship, is considered the same thing, as the core holding the relationship together is thin and unstable.
In addition to giving things time, being content with being alone is another quintessential aspect. Being happy with one’s self, is the essence of healing. And the only way to be happy with being alone, is to actually be alone. There is no other way around it. Writing sentences down saying “I am fine with being alone” or saying these words over and over again will not cut it. It is easy to trick the mind into believing something that is not true. Actions speak louder than words, and the action needed to be taken here, is disconnecting from everything we are addicted/attached to. Everything that distracts us from who we really are and everything that we rely on in order not to feel alone.
Examples of such things are: An abusive relationship, drugs/alcohol, obsessions with sports/friends/television, being extremely extroverted/outgoing, using traveling as an escape, etc. Basically anything that we overdo, is an escape to run away from being alone, the word every human being is afraid of now, myself included. Or better, I used to be afraid of it until I discovered how great it is. Once I discovered the freedom and the joy that comes with being alone, I wanted to share it with everyone. What I mean by that, is sharing the joy I have with myself with others. By sharing this joy, I realized that I implant it into other people. I used to spread happiness onto others, but happiness is a feeling based on external factors. Joy is something eternal, that can’t be shaken or threatened. It is real and it is raw. Nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists, herein lies perfect peace and love.
So when I used to spread happiness and another person feels it entering them, they also feel happy. However, if at another time, the external factor that gave me this happiness disappeared and I am with the same person, I won’t be able to make them happy and so they are effected by this as well. If I had eternal joy, I would always be able to extend it onto them and anyone I meet.
In conclusion, the key to healing is very simple. It does not require anything more than knowing and having the tools of getting there. Once you have them, there is no way to screw it up.
Give things time and feel every minute of growth and hard work passing by.
Be content with yourself first, before you do anything else.
Do not be afraid of being alone, as it is the company you are sharing with everyone else. You share it with yourself first.
Remember that joy is eternal and it is already within you. All you need to do is find it. You find it when doing the above mentioned elements.
What a relief it must be to know that the joy within cannot be taken away from you? You are already fine, you just need to remind yourself that you are.
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies perfect love.
