How To Make Your Own ‘Fuck-It’ List for 2018
|Fuck-It List|- people you are going to stop letting bother you, past memories you are going to discard, bad habits you are finally going to stop
Let’s be honest here. We are all tired of the usual, “Here is my bucket list for next year” bullshit. Bucket lists are new things you want to do in the current year such as: save a bunch of money, take a trip, find the love of your life, get in shape. But it is time we really get the root of the problem and create a new type of list that focuses on things you are going to STOP doing next year verses new things you are going to start doing. If you want to experience honest, genuine self-love you need to take the toxic nonsense out of your life. Follow the steps below, stick to them, and love yourself.
1. Get To Know Yourself and Write It Down
If I told you right now to write a list of the top 10 animals that will be extinct in 2050 most of you couldn’t do it because you don’t know much about the extinction of animals. Well, same principle applies here. If you want to write a list about yourself, then you have to be confident that you know yourself. When was the last time you spent time looking at who you are as a person. Write down your values that you want to possess. Write down how you currently pursue that value. Write down why. Repeat with interests, life goals, strengths, and weaknesses. Here is a personal example. Life goal: Write a book. Currently: Haven’t even started Why: Because I drink to much on the weekends and I can’t write well when I am hungover…Now once you have finished your list move on to step two.
2. Repeat Step 1
I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to really get to know yourself before you make your own fuck-it list- if you actually want to see change in your life. Personal Story Time for TayTay: Circa 2014 going into 2015 I decided I was going to FINALLY stop letting the fact that I didn’t make the basketball team in 6th grade go (I know you think I am pathetic right now). I wrote a letter to the coach who didn’t pick me and I put it in a box and I said I was done with it. What I didn’t realize about myself was that not making the team fueled me to go on to be better. I needed that pain and failure in my life to make me into who I am now. So before you go writing , “Delete Jon Snow on all forms of social media” on your fuck-it list. Make sure you know what motivates certain behaviors and patterns in your life. Then evaluate if that is moving you closer or further away from where you want to be. Look at the first list you wrote down. Give it a week. Review. Edit. Refine. Add. Delete. Repeat. When you are confident the list reflects you… then you can move on to Step 3.
3. Let’s Talk About Commitment
|Commitment| noun a willingness to give your time and energy to something that you believe in, or a promise or firm decision to do something
See here is the honest truth. You can write all the fancy lists you want. But if you want a fuck-it list that works. A list that rids you of your own problems that stand in your own way. Then you have to be a black belt in commitment. Here is what I want you to do: Pick the absolute EASIEST thing in the world (that you don’t already currently do)and I want you to commit to it. FOR ONE WEEK. Need some ideas: I will chew one piece of gum everyday at noon. I will fold my laundry immediately when I take it out of the dryer. I will pick up one extra piece of random dog shit every time I pick up my own dogs shit. You name it. You do it. For one week. Because the biggest problem is that it has been so long since you committed to anything that you don’t know if you can do it. I want you to prove to yourself that you actually can commit to something and see it through. Because I promise you cutting stuff out of your life aka following through with your fuck-it list requires so much more commitment than adding stuff to it. It’s easy to say I am going to write a book in 2018, but it is hard to commit to saying I am going to stop drink Jack Daniels on Thursday nights so I can accomplish it.
4. Understand Your Personal Problems
The second thing I want you to do is I want you to write down your last failed commitment. And I want you to list why. Was it a lack time, depression, loneliness, laziness, unmotivated, anxiety, fear of failure, fear of starting, was it to hard or complicated. Once you figure out what it was that stopped you from following through with your commitment then I want you to become an absolute expert in understanding everything there is to know about that issue. I want to know how many studies have been done on that topic? How many other people deal with that issue? What are ways you can prevent it? What types of medicine cure it? How have other people gotten over that issue? How have other people failed at getting over that issue? If you don’t have your amazon cart loaded down with books talking about that particular problem then you cannot pass go and collect 200 dollars.
Here is my soap box rant for 2017: Nobody in this entire fucking world will ever solve your problems for you. Not your mom. Not some guy/girl. Not a new location. Not a therapist. Not a new job. NOBODY. NOTHING. So if you ever want to experience self-love and happiness and complete your fuck-it list. You need to make love to your vice. Get to know it. Understand all the details of it. How it works. Why it happens. How to control and manage it. And once you do then you can accomplish your commitments.
5. Pen + Paper (+Wine) = Make the List
This is the easiest part of the whole process. Take all the things you want to accomplish in 2017 and write them down. Then on another piece of paper write down all the things that are stopping you. Write down the names of the people causing you to doubt yourself. Write down the drunk memories you can’t seem to forget. Write down the boy you slept with 5 years ago that you still call at 2am. If it causes you in any way to love yourself less. Put it on the list. That is your fuck-it list for 2018. You cut those things out and truly say fuck-it to them then there is no doubt you will be able to accomplish everything you want to.
6. Set Aside a Specific Time to Reflect
Lastly, make sure you set aside time to actually see if you are following through with everything. Go through the entire process. The best part about making a list is that you can cross things off and add new things. Do that. Do it often.
“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
― C. JoyBell C.
