I Let You Bleed
Ending a relationship with a narcissistic lover
“You complete me.
You’re my home.
You make me myself.
You turn on the light for me.”
Those words might’ve looked
good in a poetry book
In a lover’s lost readings
or in a musician’s beatings.
But for me those were
WRECKED.
Those were WICKED, DEVASTATING
CAUTIOUS and RIGGED.
Those words were the first sign.
Those words were the first.
They made me want to run.
They made me want to run far away.
I couldn’t help but see
a future ambush.
I couldn’t help but feel
I’ve been tricked.
Invited in a place
with promises of love
with promises of mutual giving
but then trapped.
Those words, they were a bad omen.
They made me look through you.
What I was to you
and what you were here for.
I’m your new distraction.
I’m your new distortion.
I’m your new toy.
You’re playing the game.
I’m your sorry for an excuse
to run from yourself.
To run from your truths.
Your hiding place.
I’m your punching bag,
I’m your board of mind games.
I’m your vulnerable victim.
I’m your escape.
There’s no love.
There’s addiction.
There’s no desire.
There’s necessity.
You’re here to suck the love
Out of me.
You’re here to leave me
frail and empty.
I am different now.
I learnt to lit my own light.
I learnt to hold my own hand.
I learnt to love myself.
I’ve burnt the leeches
of others’ treacherous words.
I’ve smashed the beliefs
of me needing anybody but myself.
I’ve turned to ashes
and painted a new picture with them.
I’ve come far too long a way
To believe in the bullshit you say.
I’m sorry for your pain.
I’m sorry that you’re afraid.
I’m sorry for all the bad that happened to you.
But I’ll not let you pass it on to me.
Not this time.
Not ever again in this life.
So, I set myself free
and say the hard words.
I let you bleed,
from the wounds you wished to disappear.
I just pray.
Pray for you to finally shed the filters.
To finally accept your pain
To let yourself disintegrate.
I Let you bleed.
I let myself leave.
For this is the only way
for both of us to heal.
