“I was gonna ask if you knew anything about the topic of transgender”
“Plenty,” I responded to my straight friend who, surprisingly, was coming from a place of genuine curiosity. “I mean, what’s not to understand? Or like, what’s your understanding of trans*?”
“Well, it’s someone who has identified themselves as a gender opposite of their sex. Like i just wanted to know about the stigma, discrimination, and other bullshit the trans community has encountered.”
“I mean: What are your Initial feelings towards a “guy” who wears a wig or women’s clothing. Usually fear or confusion and sometimes even disgust or anger.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a whole ‘nother level of discrimination trans people go through every day. And it’s really a dynamic of privilege and ability, partially because society sexualizes individuals; And when they don’t fit a mold it brings hate. It’s not easy being trans, not in the slightest, they aren’t even protected by laws in some states… Trans isn’t just about a man wanting to be a woman or vice versa. Sometimes it’s wanting to be in between, sometimes it’s wanting to be total opposite, sometimes it’s neither.”
“Hmm, I see.”
“Drag, likewise, is totally different in that people who practice drag most usually do it for an art performance or practice, the main difference being they don’t want to identify as the other gender permanently. Trans is like being stuck in a costume, constantly facing the possibility of violence and hate. Though it is arguable that drag is within the same umbrella as trans. It’s a very grey area when it comes to gender and gender expression”
“Are you talking about gender roles?”
“Yeah. Gender, how I view it, it just a performance. We perform it every day without realizing, from our clothes to our voice to our mannerisms. Drag is a more stage type of performance that intends to highlight those subtle performances, and have fun by playing the other role. However in every day society we constantly perform masculinity and femininity. by gossiping, by skateboarding, by drinking beer and by texting.”
“Do you think male trans [male to female] get more shit than female trans? Cuz of how society values men aka sexism?”
“Yes I think that is definitely arguable, that’s trans women (male to female) get more shit. It’s also because men are more or less hypersexualized. And when they view the woman, they may be ‘into’ them, then realize they have a penis or are a man, and In that moment their masculinity is threatened subconsciously. That they could have had homosexual tendencies. So the immediate response is to hypermasculinize, to compensate for the seemingly feminine, homosexual tendency. Which more than likely results in banter, slurs, violence and hate. All of which are very defensive, alpha-male practices.”
“I see.”
“And the big discrepancy is people don’t usually choose to be trans. It’s who they are.
“Which is very difficult for cis people like you and my friends to understand. The bottom line: you don’t have to walk out the house in fear of hate, slurs, violence and of our lives. Trans people most often do.”
“I heard even LGBT community misunderstands trans.”
“Yup. All the time. Even our LGBT (or queer) community is a microcosm of society. We have strata, levels of oppression, power, and privledge. Levels of hate, levels of exclusion and acceptance. And trans is usually on the lowest level, even in the community, which is sad.”
“I see. Dude. Thanks for taking your time to explain these things to me. I really appreciate it.”
“Yeah no of course. Thanks for taking effort to understand these issues even though they don’t really concern you on a day to day basis.”
