Khloe Kardashian, And You, Ignoring The Red Flags
Do the dating process correctly, girls.
Okay, by now you’ve most likely heard that Khloe Kardashian’s husband-like partner Tristan dogged himself out once again.
Tristan has a well-documented history of needing to share his lower anatomy with many women. He’s a public figure (pro basketballer and relationship partner to Khloe K.) and all around dog.
Recently he reportedly placed his lips on Khloe’s little sister’s bestie of all time, Jordyn. Jordyn didn’t encourage the kiss; rather Tristan, with his sexual conquest neediness, placed his lips on Jordyn’s and took a kiss. Khloe went on to blame Jordyn because now Khloe suddenly had the guts to end things with her two timing man.
But then Twitter came for Khloe and blasted her. Rightly so. Finally Twitter gets it right. Subsequently, Khloe walked back her attack on the young Jordyn. (And hey, women in these predicaments feel such rage at the bf/husband who they desperately want to be enough for that they need to blame someone and the affair woman is usually a decent enough target.)
Women, the girl with your cheating husband is not responsible. HE is responsible. He is the one you married/committed to. He is the one who threw the marriage vows/commitment into the wind and got busy in an affair. Don’t blame the other woman.
In fact, don’t blame him. Sit yourself down and let’s talk.
Why is Khloe’s story relevant to you?
If you are going to date, you must, MUST be able to walk away from a guy who is doing you wrong. Period.
It’s called spotting a red flag and doing the walk away. You’re walking away from certain hell. You don’t date to say, “Oh wow. Here’s a cad. Let me ignore these warnings and sign up for hell.”
And, no, he didn’t just have an affair out of nowhere. There is no blindsiding.
I promise you that if you had the knowledge of a dating and relationship coach you’d have seen so many red flags early on in the dating process (probably on date one) with him, you wouldn’t keep dating the guy let alone evolve into marrying him.
UNLESS, you get “hooked.”
Not hooked on him, but hooked on the idea of keeping him because your ego took a blow when you realized all that you did for the guy wasn’t enough. The hook is to get picked one more time by him to overcome that awful rejection flu he infected you with when you discovered his cheating.
Now women, even Khloe herself, will flap their red glossed lips and decry that any man who cheats on them will find themselves in a trash dumpster. But saying that in theory (talk is cheap) and doing the walk away (action is all that counts) when the guy is disrespectful to you are two different things.
Red flags are often a reflection of how he rolls. (Hey, women throw red flags too.) Don’t take it personally, but don’t hang around and take more red flagged behavior.
But that’s the problem. You take it personally as though he’s rejecting you and you end up with a bad case of feeling rejected. Then you’ll do anything, ANYTHING including take his crap, to get him to pick you again so you can feel okay and worthy. ARGH. That’s bull and that’s why I say this:
“Don’t date unless you love yourself enough to automatically walk away from red-flag drenched bad behavior in another.”
Like, truly, do yourself a favor and don’t date. If you can’t trust yourself to support your self-worth when the guy won’t, then don’t date.
If you can’t walk away over ONE red flag, then don’t date. You’re better off not to go the dating route.
The antidote to rejection flu requires you to see it for what it is — your ego wanting you to step back up in the ring and go another round and take more blows to your self worth.
That’s what happened to Khloe. Smart, successful, pretty, fit and a big heart and a sucker for her endless succession of bad picks in men, she thought that by staying with toxic boy Tristan that somehow magically he’d wake up and become a completely different man. Ain’t gonna happen. Loose cannons don’t change because you cry or present them with a child or show them some ASSets.
Khloe (or you) needs a dating coach to check in with on the daily the next time she dates to see if she can right her need to find the men with the most wrongs.
In my time of coaching women, that’s how I’ve realized this insight and what it takes. Sometimes holding a hand for a minute with a coach is the help you need to get over and break the self-defeating habits.
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