Let your Pussy be your pilot…

Who needs assertiveness if you can grow some serious Cattitude? Let’s focus on self-love in everyday life and relationships. We tend to get trapped in a vicious circle of trying, trying harder, failing and at times succeeding, only to question the real value of the coveted chocolate medal. If you think that you are not enough, and you still need to get another degree, nicer job, move houses, get hitched, top up your superannuation…and then you can relax, well you probably will run out of life. Same goes for relationships, if you are stuck in one, where you keep giving and waiting for miracles, per chance it’s time to reassess. Too often we say “I don’t like the way my partner treats me”, only to realise that upon closer inspection it magically reflects the way we treat ourselves. So, if you sell yourself short, don’t respect your time and space, and think that you don’t deserve better, it’s a high time to develop Cattitude. The furry Zen Masters have it all figured out so let’s see what we can learn from a pussy.

1. This too shall pass…The Gentle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Yeah, yeah the world goes crazy and everyone is running amok. Just sit there, or better still lay down and have a nap. By the time you wake up, the storm will be over.

2. Chain-saw Killer Stare. Lock the eyes and keep staring until the resisting object crumbles and surrenders to all of your wishes.

3. Let others clean up your shit. Wouldn’t that be nice?

3. Play Deaf. Come and go when and if you want to. Was that your name being called? Nahhh…just some random noise.

4. Have no Fear. What is a dog if you have claws, if in doubt swipe left, for fun swipe right.

5. Be Curious. Go ahead stick your head in a glass jar, how else would you know if you could make a sexy Astronaut?

6. Stretch. Be flexible, it will come handy for the next point.

7. Lick your own genitals. No comment.

8. Be Beautiful. Cats don’t care how other cats look, they know they are the most beautiful creatures in any room. They don’t compare their dicks or their cars, they know they are perfect just the way they are. Remember, there is no one like you and you are a truly wonderful. Embrace it. If you are an identical twin, disregard, you are not really that special.