Life is better when you don’t care
All my entire life I have cared about people. Everyone I know, I have always wanted the best for them. I cared about what happens to them. Unfortunately, most of them did not care about me. And I am 100% sure you have those people in your life too. I’ll share a personal story to demonstrate how I started caring about people and why it was not the best idea.
Why I cared about people
I grew up in a developing country. My mother worked three jobs to put food on the table for my family. When I first started noticing the suffering, the exhaustion and the sadness in my mother’s face, I felt like I was partially responsible for her pain. Sometimes, we would not have enough food to eat. At times my mother would not eat (she cared and loved us). Other times I would pretend I had enough to eat just so my little siblings would have more. I started working after school and on weekends to help my mother. My mother didn’t approve of my decision because she wanted me to focus on school. However, I believed it was a necessity, an obligation. One day, I decided to quit school altogether. Thereafter, most of my decisions were made based on the effects they would have on my family and the people around me.
The connection I had with siblings made me care about them. We had experienced a lot of life struggle together. There was frustration, but the frustration united us. And that made us care about each other. The very few minutes I spent with my mother, she showed us the importance of love and care. Even though she barely had time to have a conversation with us, we learned from her actions. Unfortunately, I started caring about everyone just like I cared about my family.
The big mistake
Well, I made a big mistake. I started caring about everyone who entered my life. I made choices based on how it would affect them. I cared about them, and I didn’t want to hurt them. I thought: “we are all humans and we care about each other.” Unfortunately, many of the people I cared about did not care about me. Currently, everyone I know, about 80% do not give a care about me. They had made choices that had hurt me. I treated them well, but I made the mistake of expecting the same treatment I gave them. I realized that most people will not care about you. They will care about you for a moment. Then they will forget about you.
Life is better when we don’t care
When we care too much, we get upset/sad about the struggles that life throws at us. We give so many f*** about what people think about us… Do you achieve anything by doing that? Most likely not. If you think you do, you should think about it twice. I stopped caring about the suckers who didn’t deserve my attention. Whatever people think about me now, I just ignore them. Now, I only care about the few people who genuinely and actually care about me.
Life sucks when you care because the things that you care about take control over your life. You will be salty. You will complain and get mad about what people talk about you. You will cry all night when someone breaks up with your (don’t be embarrassed, I have). You will get depressed when life throws some cow shit at you. For example, I used to care about my adversities and didn’t like sharing it with people because I cared about what they would say. Now I don’t care if the whole world knows it. I’m grateful for everything that has happened in my life. It is easier when you just live life and ignore everything else. You will have more joy in your life.
We must only give a fuck when it matters
I am not saying you should not care about anything; I’m saying that you should care for the things and people who also care about you. You might be caring about the wrong thing or person. Pay attention before it’s too late. Here is a trick, if you have time to care about something or someone who doesn’t treat you well, you are most likely caring about the wrong person/thing because if you were caring about the right person/thing, you would not have time to care about that person/thing in the first place. I almost lost the few people who actually cared about me because I was paying attention to the wrong people.
If you keep caring about insignificant stuff, one day you will wake up and realize that all the energy you spent caring about them was a waste. Know what matters to you or who matters to you because to some people you don’t matter at all. One of the things I noticed about the people who cared about me is that they will do anything for me even if I don’t ask them to. They are there for me when I need them most, not just once but most of the time. Now regarding stupid things, I only care if they put my life at risk or if they affect the people I care about. In cases like that, I ask: can I do something about the situation? If the answer is yes, then I’ll do something about it. If the answer is NO, well, why worry about them, I will not do anything.
Going back to my story, my mother showed me the meaning of caring. Because my mother cared about my siblings and me, I chose to do the same thing for everyone. And I thought they would care about me too because I care about them. WRONG! Don’t make that I mistake. Invest your time in the people who care about, the ones you would live without. Very few people will care about you. The only group of people we should never stop giving caring about is our family and real friends. It took me a while to understand it, but I am happier now because I stopped caring about the things and the people who mistreated me. Knowing what or who deserves my attention made my life easier.
