Love and Loss and Wisdom
Poetry Sunday
We spoke of love and loss and wisdom
When we were younger, lying out in the long grass
When we should have been in school.
We smoked Camels and drank Jim Beam
That Katie lifted from her old man’s stash,
And we thought we knew the world.
A few years down the road, I met the man
That I would give my life to,
And though there were roses and passionate nights
There were also broken windows and hidden tears,
And countless days of fighting back the urge to scream
The things that pounded against my temples.
Then one day I felt a pain that still burns me
Like molten steel on my chest, every single day.
I know until the moment I die, I will see him there
On the ultrasound machine’s fuzzy screen,
A perfect child, save the lack of a heartbeat.
I can’t see death as beautiful anymore.
Now, as I chase toddlers around the house,
And call my little sister up at three in the morning
In tears, because I have no idea what to do with
These fragile blessings that so confuse me,
I understand just how little I know about
All those things I thought I knew so well.
I wish sometimes I could go back to when I was young,
And skipped school to play at being grown up,
Back to when I knew everything.
Before I learned that love is work,
And loss can carve the life right out of you,
And wisdom means knowing you know nothing.
