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The Beginning of Motherhood
On Black Holes and Babies
Two days after Matilda was born, the first photo of a black hole was taken. Like the eye of Sauron, the star-devouring behemoth glowed ominously from the front page of news websites, 26,000 light years away.
The historic photo was captured by a network of telescopes around the world aligning at the same point in time, in the same way that Matilda’s existence hinged on precise circumstance, an unbroken genetic line on both sides, culminating in meeting her father.
I’m lying in a hospital bed buzzing with hormones, epidural, adrenaline and two cups of tea. My legs are two big dead eels and I’m watching contractions rise and fall on the screen next to me. I’m hooked up to machines with tubes and wires coming out of every orifice and can hear the steady thump thump thump of my baby’s heartbeat.
Monty is asleep, on a chair gently snoring.
It had been a long night of labour, the night before. I’d summoned the most tribal heaving ho’s and staccato hee’s as the hours ticked by.
I had tried reading books on refocusing pain in labour, (‘don’t even call it pain! It’s a…
