My boyfriend is my friend with benefits
‘’How are we going to have normal wedding pictures if you can’t hold in your laugh,’’ he asked me.
‘’Not, I just can’t look lovey-dovey in your eyes on command. Let just be ourselves. What’s the use having wedding pictures which will look the same with other couples? I don’t want ‘’beautiful’’ pictures (there are my selfies for). I want pictures which shows typically us’’
That will probably be my answer if someone ask me to describe my relationship in dialogues. And probably no one will ask me that, so I’m just leaving it here for you to read it instead.
My friendship with others come in the following stages: insults, sarcastic remarks, being disgusting around each other and any chance to laugh at each other I will take. I only do that with those I feel very close with. And the first person who comes to mind is my boyfriend. I haven’t had the chance to act like a decent girlfriend in our earlier stage, when my sister enthusiastically told him if he was already aware that I farted a lot in my sleep. That was also the very first thing she said to him. Speaking of a catchy anecdote.
I could deny as much as I wanted, but one of those days I unfortunately confirmed it myself in my sleep. Clear and soundly. A loud sign of the beginning of a profound friendship in where we both slowly mastered how to use telepathy to annoy the shit out of each other by finishing off each others sentences.
He is my buddy where I can be at ease. I am nine out of ten times bare faced instead of dolled up, because that’s when I feel at my most self. He is my buddy listening to my rants and problems, being extremely honest and helpful — without telling me what I want to hear. I guide when I feel he is drifting off and he guides me if he sees I want to give up on something I care a lot about. We are not a pretentious #relationshipgoal couple. I see him more like my life long buddy than my boyfriend, because of many things. He often made me laugh until I snort like a pig and I often made him laugh where his open mouth will cover 2/3 of his face, letting him forget to keep his cool. I don’t know when it happened, but I know there no any layers left to peel of all the layers we all have out of self defense for everything which can hurt us. We have peeled off all the layers of each other. The layer of shame, insecurity, vulnerability, dishonesty, pretentiousness and pride. If I continue to peel, I’m afraid you will soon see me in a documentary of the ‘’100 most psycho girlfriends’’. That’s not the way how I imagine becoming famous.
Anyway, adding an unhealthy amount of how attracted I feel towards him, there can not be any other solution to be his friend. With benefits
A lot of benefits, if you know what I mean.
