My First Tattoo — A Story About Siblings
What you see in the image above is my first tattoo, the design forever etched into two wrists as soon as I turned eighteen. It’s an abstract one, but each time I look at it, I’ll be reminded of fiery orange colors painting the sky, reflecting off the dancing sea in wild manners: our childhood home. I’ll forever be reminded of our relationship, both of us bearing one half of the infinity sign. Forever is a scary word, but this relationship will last. Why? Because we didn’t choose each other.
Two lines: big sister and little sister.
This may seem incredibly cheesy, but I love my big sister. She’s my role model: her head in the sky, telling me to dream, to follow the path I choose instead of the one recommended to me. At the same time, her influence is sober; she doesn’t sugar-coat her words, tells me to learn from her mistakes. She has taught me that shortcomings are simply a part of life.
Not only that, but she’s also my best friend. Sharing dumb inside jokes, going on a trip together, or just quietly sitting at home all day and watching series: spending time with her leaves me in high spirits.
Of course, being siblings isn’t all fun and games. Fights, frustration, annoying each other, being unable to understand the other, et cetera. It’s all part of being forced to grow up together. Your friends and lover you can choose, but your family you are born into. You don’t get to decide which sister or brother suits you the best, which has the most similarities to your personality, which has the same interests as you. For some siblings, this is reason enough to quit trying and let the contact ebb away.
This is fine; in some cases, it just really doesn’t work out, and you’re left wondering how you managed to survive all those years living in the same house. But even so, maintaining any relationship is hard. Just because you’re siblings doesn’t give you a free pass. It’s more like being a long-married couple: you both know the other’s flaws, and sometimes the bad outweighs the good by a long shot. When in conflict, however, it is much easier to break contact with your sibling than it is with a partner; you don’t have to deal with divorce papers, sorting out whose couch it is, nor do you have to plan who gets to have the kids on the 25th of December. All that has to happen is a silly argument — one that you would probably get over in two days if you still lived together — which escalates into months without contact because you’re not obligated to talk to each other.
But what will you get out of it if you do maintain contact?
My sister once said to me, “you annoy me constantly. But that’s alright because it’s you,” and I think that’s beautiful; being siblings isn’t about being the perfect fit for each other. It’s not about getting along so incredibly great that you naturally become best friends. Siblings fight. A lot. And that’s what it’s about: knowing someone to whom you can tell the truth, someone you love to rile up just as much as you love to make them happy. Being siblings means having seen each other’s weak sides, the awkward phases, but just as much having shared the best memories of your childhood together.
My sister and I are still young, still tied together by many different factors, so we see each other regularly. But with all the dreams of our future, we may end up going in totally different directions. It’s a relief to know that all we have to do is look at our wrists. When we do, we will remember watching sunsets, remember the series we watched and the trips we made.
Thanks to my first tattoo, I will forever be reminded of the bond we have shared up until now, and the one we will hopefully continue to share.
