A Lie that Saved My Relationship
And it changed me forever
I was too young to understand ethics and morality in much depth but I knew lying was bad. That is what we are taught since childhood, isn’t it? But what about lying for a good cause? Is that acceptable? That is a moral dilemma that has troubled humans since the dawn of time and I was no exception. This story is not about me cheating on my girlfriend, but rather about a much more complicated situation. Let me tell you the entire story so that you can judge for yourselves.
Background
It all started when I was sixteen years old. I grew up in a traditional Indian household and romance was not much favored around here. People still frowned upon romantic relationships and preferred arranged marriages. Amidst such circumstances, I fell in love with a girl from my class. Let’s call her Shreya. I had never talked to girls much and most of my conversations with her were via online chatting. After I confessed my feelings to her, she instantly rejected me. She too belonged to a conservative household and was reluctant to get involved in romance at such a young age. However, after eight months she started having feelings for me too and she agreed to be my girlfriend. But it was necessary that we kept it a secret from everyone.
If you don’t belong to a conservative Asian family, it might seem pretty weird to you that two sixteen-year-olds are not allowed to have boyfriends or girlfriends. This tradition had a logic though. Our parents play a great role in our lives and are involved in making most of our crucial decisions. Thus, they feel that we can attempt at romance only when we have our lives sorted out and can afford a living, not before that. I feel they are correct to some extent. There is no way that I could be mature enough at sixteen to choose a partner to spend my life with. In case you are wondering, dating, casual relationships, and breakups were never considered viable options, and love was supposed to be for life.
I think you get an idea about the situation in which we were. If either of our parents got the slightest sense that we were engaged in romance, be it over the internet, that would be the end of our relationship. We would never be allowed to talk or meet again. And something of that sort did happen.
The Incident
Due to certain reasons which still remain unknown to me and Shreya, her father somehow found out what was going on between us. Maybe he had access to her Facebook account, or maybe someone saw us talking on the streets and told him. Shreya tried denying at first but then confessed the truth hoping her father would understand. I still respect her for that. However, I was screwed.
Shreya’s parents had a love-marriage, so romantic relationships were not an alien concept to him. However, being a responsible father, he knew his child was too young to be involved in such stuff and it would probably ruin her career. So he decided to do something that was best for her. He decided to talk to my father.
I always wanted my dreams to come true but ironically my worst nightmare did. My dad was nothing like Shreya’s father. Dad is orthodox and conservative to his core. My parents’ marriage was arranged and Dad did not care about love or romance at all. Career was of utmost importance to him and in no way would he allow me to jeopardize that. If Shreya’s father called and told Dad that I was having an affair with his daughter, only God knew what would happen. I do not want to talk about the possibilities because nothing actually happened. All thanks to the LIE!
The Lie
Shreya’s father asked for Dad’s contact number. I did give him a number but it was not my Dad’s. It was my friend’s (let’s call him Ron). Ron was that kind of friend who would help me hide the body if I committed a murder. He would do anything for me. I told Ron that he would have to pretend to be my father over the phone and he agreed in a heartbeat. He just had to talk in a deep voice and tell Shreya’s father that he was going away for a business tour for a few weeks. I hoped that her father would forget about all of it after a few days and everything would go back to normal.
However, he started calling Ron after two weeks. Ron asked me what he should do. He had to talk this time. We made a plan. If it seemed that Shreya’s father was breaking the news to Dad, then Ron (as Dad) would have to act surprised and enraged and the conversation would get out of control. A better way was that Ron (as Dad) would tell Shreya’s father I have already confessed and explained the situation to Dad. This way the conversation would be much controlled and reasonable. It worked. Both of them discussed that it was too early for us kids to get involved in a relationship. We had to focus on our careers first. It was decided that only after we pass high school and get into college, could we think about getting into a full-fledged relationship.
The phone call was over peacefully and the disaster was averted. However, I felt devastated inside. I lied to a person who cared so much about his daughter. I did something so wrong. Yet I could think of no other way to protect our relationship from getting severed. I really loved Shreya and had to do it but this incident changed me forever.
How it changed me
I acknowledged both our parents’ concerns. They always wanted the best for us. So I had to prove that our relationship did not ruin us. I had to prove that Shreya’s entry into my life was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I was indeed a young kid who would surely make wrong decisions, but that could not stop me from becoming the most responsible version of myself. I had to turn myself into a person who would never have to lie again to protect our relationship.
I started studying harder than ever and I started improving myself in every way possible. Shreya and I never got too intimate, so we were just two friends who were very close and talked to each other all the time. I topped in every class after the incident and I got into one of the best medical schools in the country. She also did great and got into a great engineering college.
We spent our college life being in a long-distance relationship but it did not bog us down. As I am about to become a registered doctor next year, her parents are fairly convinced that I am eligible enough to be with their daughter. In a way, I succeeded.
It has been seven years and we are still happy together. I have no idea what direction my life would have taken if this incident had not occurred. When faced with a similar dilemma, Lord Krishna himself instructed Yudhisthira (who had never told a single lie in his life) to use deception in order to win the war because it was the necessary thing to do. What do you think?
Whatever, the morally correct perspective might be, I will always be grateful for the lessons I learned. The only problem is that Shreya’s father might still be under the impression that he talked to Dad over the phone that day and Dad must be aware of all this. I sincerely hope the topic never comes up during a conversation.
Thanks for reading!
