Reflecting on the Death of My Father-in-Law

Words, Handshakes and Saying Goodbye…

I received many things over the years from my father-in-law, his kindness, sense of humor, respect, love, charm, and joy in his granddaughters among them. I saw these in his eyes and I swear the depth grew deeper as the years passed.

Something I can easily hold on to, my favorite sweater that first belonged to Dwight, my father-in-law.

Writing this, I’m finding these things are hard to represent in an article intended to honor my relationship with him and the ongoing depth of his loss in my life.

Besides, I’m pretty sure words don’t exist that would put the feelings in print.

Maybe it’s more a man thing, and maybe the best poets have figured it out. I’m not much of a poet and hiding behind the “man shield” has never been my thing.

Still, for me at least, some things I best experience wordlessly — not necessarily silently, but meditatively. As connected and dependent as we all are, these things simply belong to me alone.

Such was my relationship with Dwight, my father-in-law, who peacefully passed from his body in his sleep last January.

I’ve been thinking about this since saying goodbye to him the night before he died. He was unconscious in what became his deathbed. I had a strong desire to shake his hand before leaving, what had become our tradition while…