Sex, love and Pretty Boy Maluma

BlueLulo
P.S. I Love You
3 min readAug 15, 2017

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At night I come home and relax to Chopin’s mazurkas.…well that’s the official version of events. The truth is, I put on reggaeton and do a white person dance, which translates into a successful imitation of an epileptic fit …as sexy as an epileptic fit can be. But there you go, I listen to reggaeton, this however, is not going to stop me from throwing stones. So a quick popculture update, reggaeton is a bit like a Latin hip-hop, with cheesier melodies thrown in — according to Lulopedia. It stirred a bit of controversy due to it’s similarity to a lot of American rap/hip-hop, and the way both camps portray women. And how is that? Well, if you were an Alien or an impressionable teenager (same same), learning about the world from music videos, you would be justified to conclude that those things called bitches, are nothing but cock hungry sluts (CHS) roaming the streets to get some.

So, how is that ok, and have been tolerated for so long, and mainly continues to be so? Interesting. If anyone was singing about Jews, Blacks, Muslims, LGBTWNFBAIFHZ… etc. the way those artists sing about women, there would be a riot, TV debates, marches, #tags, T-Shirts and maybe even baseball caps! Somehow, with women that is ok. Recently Spanish government took a strong stance and banned the Colombian singer Maluma from appearing in a show due to his sexist video/lyrics — Cuatro Babys. This, I like and I like it not. With my foul mouth and polarised opinions, unsurprisingly I am a free speech cheerleader. Maluma is 23 y/o and I guess his life looks more like a music video than a real life, and honestly intimacy, love and commitment are dirty words that no 23 y/o would ever use in public. Highly likely he is singing about the world he lives in and the women he is surrounded by. I did some soul searching and asked myself if reggaeton has me figured out and I am really just an in-closet CHS pretending to listen to Chopin? It’s complicated, and so are human relationships. Anyway, I took it upon myself to instruct Maluma in the art of love, so if anyone can forward this to him that would be great.

1. Maluma there are holes in life that you cannot fill with your dick, no matter how big it is. Watch out for those, they take you to another place where you finally get to meet yourself.

2. Humans were built to connect, you too and those CHS in your videos as well. All we need is love, no matter how corny and unsexy that sounds. Lennon said it, and he was a rock-star…he did get killed though.

3. I don’t know if you have responsibility towards the world, but you have towards yourself. Disrespecting anyone makes you unrespectable. Stop — Think — Sing.

4. Lastly, women are lovely and when you get to love one, it will truly blow your mind in a way an orgasm never will.

PS. I would still fuck you, I just would not enjoy it.

PS. Maybe I should apologise for the strong language, but I don’t regret it.

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