Relationship Goals #2: Good Communication

What problem? I don’t see a problem here.

Every Relationship I’ve Ever Had:

Me: (Silently) Bit miffed that he can’t seem to prize his face away from his phone. Wtaf? We haven’t seen each other in two weeks. If it’s that urgent, surely he can just deal with whatever it is and put that thing away.

And what was that about earlier, running into his ex on the street and him introducing me as his “girlfriend”. That was weird and awkward. We haven’t even had that conversation yet. What am I, some kind of bait?

I don’t know, maybe I am being irrational.

It probably isn’t worth rocking the boat over…

Them: (Silently) She’s so awesome. I love how she never complains that I deal with work stuff when we are waiting for food.

I hope she didn’t mind that I called her my girlfriend earlier. It just slipped out, as I guess that’s how I see her now. Maybe I should ask her right now…

Actually, I won’t say anything. No point in rocking the boat.

Relationship slowly deteriorates.

***

Them: (Over text) “Hey what’s up? You haven’t been returning my calls?”

Me: “I don’t see what there is to talk about.”

Them: “What? What are you talking about?”

Me: “This just isn’t working out.”

Them: “What? Why?! What has happened to warrant not seeing eachother?”

Me: “YOU DID XYZ! AND YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE ABC!!!”

Them: “Are you serious? That was over a week ago. Why didn’t you say something at the time?”

Me: “I shouldn’t have to spell this out.”

Them: “Right”.

Three days pass.

Them: “So what time are you coming over?”

Me: “Seriously? I didn’t hear from you after our chat the other day so I assumed our plans were off and made other ones.”

Them: “What? Work has just been busy that’s all!”

Relationship ends abruptly some months, and many miscommunications, later.

Etc. etc.

Aspirational Relationship Communication:

• Grievances are aired in a timely manner.
• Even when something can’t be resolved on the same day, there is a commitment to fixing it (and hugs before bedtime). Both parties follow the rule to “never let the sun go down on an argument.”
• As well as the maxim “would you rather be right, or happy?”
• We are both well versed in the principles of Nonviolent Communication.
• Zero presence of stonewalling, passive aggression and aggression.