Sex, Lies, Love & The Modern Romance: The Tinder Lovalution
Swipe. Swipe. Swipe right. Oh she's hot!
We meet, talk, she’s awesome.
Lets have sex!
(I will never see or speak to her again)
Alright, lets try this again. Swipe…
I once asked a couple of friends how do you meet women, and with no surprise they all said through the internet. When I asked them how many girls do you talk to outside of the digital world they all said one or none. This sparked my interest into why do us men and women, especially pointed to us digital world generation who have simply lost are communication skills and afraid to make contact first in the physical world.
I will talk about real events including experiences of my own online dating world. Any person that reads this know that this is complete work of non-fiction and that anyone mention on here is not mere coincidental and can be found on Facebook or Twitter.
My friend Parker told me a story about how he was on the dating app called Tinder and that he had been talking to a girl he liked for a couple of weeks and when finally decided to meet up with her, things weren't quite as expected. When he pulled up to her apartment the women who got into his car who he expected to be a white blonde was instead a black women. Lets just say she never did explain herself and when she told him she had to get something in the house, he took off quicker than you can say photoshop. I was never drawn into online dating because before college, I wasn't good at getting women anyways so I knew online I wouldn’t fare any better. The time that I decided to try online dating it would the first and last time I do it. The girl I was talking to was named Linda and from her photos she had a 07 Kim Kardashian body and I was desperate to meet her. Not only did she leave forty five minutes away, when I parked my car next to her mailbox the only thing I was wishing was that she looked how the pictures looked. Of course I was wrong! When I looked at my side mirror I saw Ursula from The Little Mermaid. You don’t know how pissed I was and how bad I wanted to peel off the road, but me being a nice guy I decided to give her a chance.
On another note, why do you women never explain yourself when us men see you in person? Clearly you are not who you say you are and have the audacity to just brush it off like its nothing. Unless you never plan to date anyone, I believe we all should just stick to none edited photos. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR DREAM LOOK ON YOUR PHOTOS, THANK YOU!
Back to what I was saying, I decided to have lunch with Linda and she was a nice person of course, but I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. I’m the type of guy that doesn't like to waste time, so instead of talking about anything hopelessly romantic I flip the script and talk to her about the men who hit her up on Tinder. What she tells me is exactly why I don't mess with online dating. She says that they usually all say the same jerk job jabronie stuff like ‘’hey ma what up’’, ‘’you look good bae’’, ‘’those eyes tho’’, ‘’sup sexy’’ and ‘’hey’’.
First off, get your archaic english up, and if any of you mutts say one of these tool bag sayings you deserve to have no female talk to you ever. If a girl actually falls for this she deserves a train wreck she gets. This is one of my concerns with the digital world is that you have all these bums pretty much saying the same bullshit over and over again that you pretty much have to come up with the most original start ups to even peak a girl you like.
Linda also tells me that most of these guys she meets are not as charming as they are online. On the web you can fool a women into believing your the baddest alpha male on the planet and have her think your hung like Dikembe Mutombo jr and then when you meet her she realizes you have the aura of a pink poodle and hung like a triple AAA battery. In person these guys can’t keep up a conversation to save there own ass, they have been spoon fed all theses web girls since they were eighteen years old and never have the balls to talk to a girl from across the bar. Bascially what I’ve been saying with the new generation coming up they are going to screw themselves up if they start with this path of starting online relationships without ever talking to someone in person first.
What is it that we really want? Wouldn’t be easy If both parties wanted sex and could just say that upfront instead of saying the same generic conversation and have something like this.
Girl: hey want to have sex?
Guy: yes!!!
CONVERSATION OVER!
Obviously It can’t be that easy, but I can understand when people say there tired of starting the same start up conversations over and over again. Some people just want love and some just want hook ups. I will admit, that when I tried online dating I was only interested in hook ups. Is it wrong? Im not here to judge what ones intentions are, but to tell you the truth maybe, thats the game now.
Now I know what your thinking, John you're a prick and WHERE DO I MEET WOMEN THEN IF NOT ONLINE? Easy, you can pretty much anywhere like school, clubs, and your friends friends. Most of have plenty of resources, but for some reason never see them. The more times you associate with the opposite sex the more confidence you’ll have in your life whether you still want to talk to a person online or not, It will not matter.
Now go have fun, stay safe and remember if a guy says he has a big dick to you on a message, more then likely he's hung like a light switch. To all the girls who rejected me screw you!
Thanks for reading, I had fun writing this and I hope you take something out of this. Leave me all the love, support and remember to leave all the hate and remorse to your girlfriend or boyfriend. Gone…
