Sorry For Blowing up the Group Chat
It’s Just that I Love and Miss You
Most days, I really can’t even resist as I find myself grabbing my phone in search of human connection. I have apparently abandoned following any group-text norms or social cues. Some days (the especially lonely ones), I might try starting a conversation every hour. Usually someone is available to entertain my thoughts.
The beauty of the group chat dynamic is that not everyone has to reply for someone to feel heard. I love this simple bit of technology, especially now.
Some nights, when my baby wakes me at all hours, I find myself checking to see if anyone else happens to be up. Differing time zones and “do not disturb” mode come in handy for those late night feeds.
Topics vary greatly throughout the days and weeks. Some texts are truly random ideas and memories, often beginning with “Do you remember that time when…” Nostalgia lands differently in 2020. We realize all the simple social joys that we took for granted as we never could have predicted the complex pains of social distancing.
Other texts are random questions and curiosities; typically a lame attempt to spark conversation. Last night I found myself typing, “Does anyone have a TV in their kitchen?” This concept is so unusual to me and I had to see if my girls could provide insight.
The previous week I asked, “What are your favorite cookies?” I really did enjoy learning more about my friends’ sugar preferences and my gingerbread didn’t taste like empty calories as I thought of my grade school bestie’s mom treating us 25 years ago. It was the best I could do if we couldn’t eat and share cookies together.
Many of the texts are mundane life updates. My girlfriends usually entertain these unnecessary comments with grand enthusiasm. Their excessive emoji usage means a lot more than they probably realize. As they follow the milestones of my kids’ lives as if they will be tested on it later, I smile.
For example, in December I sent several videos and updates of my toddler’s zoom visit with Santa in a dramatic and intense fashion that may be similar to how someone might live-tweet witnessing a history changing event. They played along and my heart thanks them for it.
They also support me with my struggles to make any decisions right now. These range from:
- small (should I have another coffee today?)
- medium (what colors am I painting my bathroom?)
- large (do I stay at work while I am sobbing into my lunch?)
They share advice that beautifully balances empathy with honesty.
Some days simultaneous chats are occurring on our phones and also in instagram. Thoughts regarding Britney Spears and makeup tutorials require regular commentary.
Is it always lightweight and cheerful? Absolutely not. Together, we explore our white privilege. We discuss the current events of our incredible and sometimes troubled America. Do we always agree? Also, absolutely not. But everyone is willing to consider each others’ views and we are all willing to learn from each other.
Did I piss them off when I shared an article explaining why we need to stop appropriating indigenous terms when they just wanted to chat about their beloved Cleveland baseball team? Probably, but at the end of the day, we are still best friends.
Some of my friends may be hoping that my fingers will chill out. They would never say it, though. Instead, they do their best to show love from a distance.
Thank you, girlfriends, for being a bright spot of a tough year. Thanks for not labeling me as ‘annoying’ but instead embracing the never-ending stream of conversation.
I love you, I miss you and I could never make it through all of this without you.
