Stop wasting your time on complicated relationships
Love of family, support of friends and companionship contribute up to a great magnitude for a happy life. I strongly believe that those are blessed who have thick friends and solid support system. Obviously it takes efforts to share such relationships.
As teenager or even later as youngster, I had many many friends. Note, many. And I still do. But a lot has changed in those equations. Earlier I used to focus a lot in keeping people happy. I used to put a lot of effort in any relationship. For instance, I had a really close friend in college and because of one misunderstanding, she chose not to talk to me again. I tried a lot to convince her, probably a lot more than what was required or was worth for. As my efforts started receding, those relationships or people also started vanishing from my life. There were always signs for me, subtle signs. It was just me, blindfolded who could not see those clearly. I was sad when those people started fading away. I wouldn’t deny that it affected me a lot more than it should have.
I started questioning every relationship. I started observing a pattern that there were some whom I was trying to pursue and there were some annoying ones who were trying to pursue me. I started realizing that a relationship cannot survive if desire is not from both the ends. Remember, it takes two to tango, cliche always works ;) In my late twenties, when I almost started believing that I am not capable of having good friends, my “attitude change” proved me wrong. A conscious effort of telling myself that I am not here to please anyone. I don’t seek anybody’s approval. I don’t have to be the perfect one. I give constant messages to my brain that I am not going to take crap from anybody. But the most important one is Distance myself from a troublesome relationship.
Learn to Detach!!!
Now, there are some relationships which you can NOT get rid off. Some people come into your life and you know that they are not gonna go away. I had those difficult ones too. For a very long time, I was seeking their approval. I wanted them to like me. This chapter did some damage to me which at one point in time seemed irreparable. I was wrong. Everything is reparable. All it takes is a mind shift. All I had to do was, Detach myself. If you can’t leave those relationships, follow common minimum communication with them. Do what’s extremely needed. In all this, keep telling yourself that every person isn’t lucky to have you as their friend so…
Stop wasting your time on complicated relationships.
When I stopped trying, I made the best of friends. I share great rapport with some of my colleagues & cousins. I share amazing like equation with my husband, sister, mom, brother-in-law, my girl friends. I love them. We share everything. My husband & I can talk endless. We also fight but try not to go to bed without fixing it. Because we like to keep it simple. We are more like a team than just a couple.
I am vocal about stuff which I don’t like. I express my likes & dislikes. I give feedback I take feedback.
I don’t think myself of any relationship expert but now, when i am in my thirties, i think i have figured out “my equation” of relationships. I am an extrovert and given the kind of energy I have, most of the time, I talk a lot and laugh out loud.
When I look back, I just feel that life is getting simple & better every day :)
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