The Danger of Chatting with People Online
She had always hated meeting new people. All that business with small talk and fumbling with the right words and the fear of being disliked — she found them repulsive, the very idea making her shudder in disgust. And so she never pretended, never bothered to don a mask the way the others dutifully did. She chose not to talk to anyone if she wasn’t slightly interested in them, and instead tenaciously clung to her silence, indifferent at how it became awkward and cold as the seconds slipped by.
But online friendship?
That was a different matter altogether.
It electrified her, filled her waking dreams, granted her a reason to feel keyed up about scrambling out of bed every morning. It had become the only semblance of social life in her drab, solitary existence.
It started the moment she became acquainted with the internet. More than a decade already, if you would believe that. Even now, she could still remember in vivid detail those glorious times — chatting constantly with her friends from all over the world, or friends from whatever online game she happened to be playing, staying up late until she could already hear the faint cuckoos of the rooster, until she could already catch a glimpse of the golden rivulets of lights slicing through the windows. From elementary through high school through college, her friends floating in the cyber world were her sole reason to keep on going.
While the others lounged in the cafeteria, she remained in their classroom, chatting with her friends as she munched her lunch. While the others frequented parties night after night, she lurked in dozens of online chat rooms, meeting more and more people than she could keep track of.
But eventually, after a series of emotional roller coasters, she decided to put a halt to this hobby of hers. Or, at least, to dampen its intensity. Albeit she was callous in real life, she was the total opposite in the cyber world.
Every now and then, she would be frightfully attached to someone, until it veered dangerously closer and closer to the point where they would clamor to meet with each other —
But almost immediately, she would be slapped back to reality, and the horror would come flooding in. Real life, that was a territory that she never wanted to tread on. And no matter how remarkable the other person seemed to be, she vehemently told herself that meeting with each other was out of the question. She would never shatter the relationship they’d been meticulously cultivating — she didn’t want to think about how it would wither and disintegrate the moment it was exposed to disillusionment and the ugliness of the real world.
And so, for months, she managed to steer clear of her addiction, only chatting with a person or two every now and then, the nature of their conversations very light and casual. She managed to evade people when they became brazen in expressing their desire to probe deeper, to know her more.
She was victorious against this battle.
Or so she thought.
When he came, all her painstaking effort vanished to smithereens.
All of a sudden, she was transported back to the times when she was a smitten, giddy teenage girl who was positively thrilled about everything. But you couldn’t blame her — he was the ultimate companion incarnate. From his kindness to his voice to his similar hobbies and inclinations, the list went on and on. It would be foolish to let him go.
And so when he pleaded to meet with her, she found herself saying yes without the slightest hesitation.
Weeks before the fated date, she pampered herself, went to spas and salons and did everything she could to improve her appearance. She suddenly cursed herself for neglecting her body all this time.
A few days before, at the height of her panic and excitement, she received a message from him.
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