The Unsent Letter — Part One
My dearest Delilah,
It’s been twenty-six days, four hours and thirteen minutes since I last touched you, held you; felt your deep green eyes search mine, your warm smile light up a room. At least that’s how long I assume it’s been; my dead eyes can no longer read my watch.
I’ve watched you from the edge of the forest since then, seen you work with the rest of our group; now your group. I have seen you exit the house through the back door, your auburn hair tied back which you hardly did before. It usually hung in a flowing curtain down around your shoulders. I’ve noticed your expression is different now, your smiles are less frequent. Is this because you miss me? Or because of the reality you now face? Supplies must be getting lower as I see you have lost weight. We were already rationing the food prior to my last day with you, I can’t imagine how the stock must be looking now.
I watch you every day as the group organises their daily needs, everyone is busy with their different jobs with so much to do. The temptation to rush over to you, to hold you, makes me tremble with need. But I can’t. I am no longer who I was to you, or to me either. I am so different from you now you see, and our lives will no longer intertwine. The new me is a stranger, a stranger with new needs; needs that would be impossible for you to understand. I should have moved on by now, its only instinctual for me to do so, the others have tried to move me on but you stop me. The mere thought of being able to see you, I don’t think this is normal for what I am now, but I cannot help it.
I have lived off the left overs of others in the forest close to me, never wanting to leave the close proximity to the house where you reside. The others seem to stay away now, I wonder if that is because of me? Can I help keep you safe?
My mind wanders back to that last day. The last day when you kissed me, laughed even amongst all of the chaos and death, and when you held me. When I was bitten you hesitated, you even moved towards me, it seemed like your love for me was stronger than you own need to survive. I backed away from you, my love for you overpowering everything else as I knew the poison filling my veins would not allow me much time. I remember you told me you loved me, but you couldn’t pull the trigger, the thought of ending my life was too much. Tears rolled down your cheeks, your grief only just beginning. I understood, but I knew I had to run, to leave you, to keep you safe as time was running out.
So now I stand watching over you, in an excruciating limbo. Our love is now forbidden, my dead eyes allow me to see your beautiful face for the last few precious moments. How many more moments I don’t know, but I will cherish each one.
My need for consuming humans is getting stronger every day Delilah. I have loved you for many years and that love has been so strong that it has kept me here for nearly a month. But the time may come soon when my need will overpower me, take over the last parts of me that have remained human and my humanity will be taken away in a gust of wind. I will retreat then, my terrible moans will fade into the forest, along with my need to see you.
But Delilah, my love for you will always be there, for it remains with you.
All my love,
Your Rob x
