This Is Why You Lost Her
If you’re wondering where things went wrong, this may help provide some answers.
She is different.
She is not the same fun-loving girl you fell for, and she is not the same ray of sunshine that once brightened even your darkest days. She has become more reserved, and there seems to be no explanation as to why.
She touches you, but she no longer feels you. She looks at you, but she no longer sees you. She talks to you, but she no longer communicates with you. She is with you, but she is no longer present with you.
You’ve lost her.
You think it’s the beginning of the end, when the truth is that it ended long ago. It ended when you weren’t paying attention because you could not be bothered to do so.
It ended when the minutes to respond to your text message turned into hours. It ended when enjoying each other’s company turned into uncomfortable silence. It ended when she stopped telling you what was on her mind because you stopped asking.
You were hearing her, but you stopped listening to her. The silence became commonplace. It became home. You thought the silence meant that she had nothing to say, when it was actually screaming at you that something was wrong.
You told her you loved her, but you stopped showing it.
You were careless with her love, her time, and worst of all, her heart. You grew complacent with her. You left her emotionally starving and fed her sparingly. You forgot that love must be maintained and tended to every single day, not sporadically or when it was convenient.
You forgot that you have to love her when you’re tired. You forgot that you have to love her when you had a bad day. You forgot that you have to love her when you’re angry. You forgot that you have to love her when she’s angry. You forgot that you have to love her when it’s difficult to love her.
That’s how you lost her.
When you look over at her, all you’re seeing is the shell of the woman who used to be there. She’s gone. She didn’t change — you did; you were just too blind to see it. The change you see in her is nothing more than the side effect of your emotional neglect.
It will crush you when she ultimately leaves for good, and understandably so. It will be a sad day, and the weeks and months that follow will not be much better. But what will be even sadder is that you either didn’t see it coming, or that you did nothing to try and prevent it.
That’s why you lost her.
And when that day comes, it will truly be your loss.
