Today is one of those days —
It’s cold outside. Snowing again.
Winter has not come and gone as I had hoped and prayed,
in my absence, my time away.
Perhaps my belief in spring came too soon, too sudden for you.
The cloudy sky and intermittent snow make me
want to fall asleep in your arms — to never anywhere else go.
The pain of your leaving me, for the second, the third and the fourth time,
still too raw and cold to endure alone.
If we know that our hearts are fickle
and our ability to pay attention strained —
by desires of the flesh and the expectation of something in return —
I am not quite sure why you would not choose me, in the end. Today.
For all the joy I’ve brought you,
the many swords on which I’ve fell,
the attention and admiration, which you readily consumed —
until you decided you didn’t need it anymore.
You cast off devotion, unconditional love so carelessly,
as if you haven’t a clue the cost of giving your heart
to someone who believes
that abandonment is the only truth, the only thing that is real.
You say you aren’t ready, that there are more important things to do.
And, I know I must accept defeat —
for I am truly powerless over your well-worn retreats,
the ones that shield you from pain, as well as intimacy.
I can accept that you may not be ready for me
but I do hope that your redemption will one day fall
to another worthy soul —
one that is better, more advanced, less needy than me.
Because despite what you may do today,
or what you have done yesterday,
you are worthy of my love.
Of anyone’s love really.
No matter what evidence there is to the contrary,
I still believe —
That it is only through pairing of two broken souls
that our purpose in life will be revealed.
Thanks for reading. I’m grateful for the space that poetry provides on occasion. If you liked what you read, please follow me on Medium or sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.elizabethmeg.com/follow.
A couple of claps never hurt anyone either.
