Member-only story
Toxic Gains
I’ve not come from nowhere to be nothing.
The hangover that made you late for the train
contained within its sickness a new distaste
for losing yourself in public scenes.
Vomitus small talk and corsets
of self-annihilation; a wildness drained
by one poorly mixed cocktail after
another. You woke up disgusted,
puking, rotten and foul-mouthed
so you could see beyond
the shadows of this play: there, inside
the round, acidic aspirin dissolving
in your brain — this vital flagrancy emerged:
I’ve not come from nowhere to be nothing;
gluttonous graces at my command, I stand
undone for the world to experience my becoming
alone, set apart, choosy and, yes,
selfishly divine,
I will not hunt again
nor be hunted by small minds
ripened on the poisoned past-tense tree,
rooted in a world that is not me.
Toxic Gains first appeared in the novel,
THE LOOK OF AMIE MARTINE by
