We Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of Meeting People Online
There shouldn’t be shame in saying, “We met on Tinder.”
My girlfriend met my extended family this past holiday season. Most of them asked me how the two of us met. I could feel my face reddening as I admitted that we had met on Tinder.
As it turned out, I didn’t need to blush since most of my family members were too old to really understand what Tinder is.
Still, when friends and family members my age ask, I feel embarrassed to mention that we met online. And I’m not sure why.
After all, these days people meet each other online all the time. There are married couples who first met each other on dating apps or websites. There are people with children who met online.
So, why am I still so ashamed to admit that I met my love online?
Part of me thinks that because we didn’t meet “in real life,” that our relationship is somehow less “real.” But being in a relationship with this woman has felt more real than it has with any of my past partners. I feel more passionate about being with her than I have with anyone else, and I met most of my past partners in real life, whether through shared classes or mutual friends.
But it shouldn’t be this way.
No matter how you met, if your relationship feels real, then it is.
Not to mention, it’s incredibly hard for queer folks to meet each other “organically.”
Most of the time, we can’t just walk up to someone of the same gender in a coffee shop and ask for their phone number without getting seen as a creep at best and facing violence at worst. We can’t simply talk to someone of the same gender and assume that they’re attracted to us, in the way that straight people can and do.
I know that personally, my gaydar is absolutely abysmal. I am pure shit at deducing whether another woman would be attracted to me or not.
My gaydar often gets overpowered by my “please be gaydar,” in which I wish desperately that a cute girl is gay or bi and would at least have the chance to be attracted to me.
As a result, queer people often have to meet each other online. Doing so skips right past the step where you have to determine whether the person you’re interested in even likes your gender. You can simply look at their profile and see whether they do.
It saves you from embarrassment as well as the threat of violence.
I know that if not for dating apps, I never would have gone out with a girl. Even though the first girl I ever dated ghosted me, I don’t regret the experience.
And I would never have met the woman I’m currently dating. I would have missed out on so much pure happiness with her. All because one day I decided to download Tinder.
Don’t let yourself miss out on all the wonderful opportunities to meet people that dating apps and websites provide. Don’t let yourself be ashamed of meeting people online.
Most importantly, don’t let yourself miss out on making memories in real life just because you’re afraid to spend a little time online.
