What I’ve Learned From Suddenly Becoming A Cancer Caregiver

We’re all living on borrowed time

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

People react in three distinct ways when I tell them my mother has stage 4 liver cancer.

1. “I’m so sorry to hear that”, while their voices take on a hushed, grave quality — tones you reserve for the bedside of the dying.
2. Silence. Their brows furrow. I can almost hear their brain furiously churning; trying to figure out what to say next
3. “Stay strong” I’m sure it’ll get better and I hope she recovers soon. This group either glosses over the topic or suggest an endless list of remedies or things for me to do to make it better.

It’s not easy to figure out what to say next when I tell you that a loved one has cancer.

I get it.

Cancer is scary stuff and you’re worried about saying the wrong things to me.

But here’s the thing.

As a cancer caregiver, I am tired.

Between filling in roles at home to make sure things at home continue to run smoothly, keeping track of side effects, providing emotional support for my dad, ensuring everyone else in my family is coping with the situation and…