Embrace Uncertainty
Personal Lessons from Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** — Chapter 6: You are Wrong About Everything
We can’t help but feeling certain, can we? I am certain that one plus one is two. Or I’m sure that my coworker does not like me because he always avoid eye contact.
Our certainty is not at all certain. My coworker might actually be shy or very introverted, and his eye-contact avoidance is not a reflection of his dislike on me, but a mere manifestation of his insecurity. How about one plus one is two? Sure, that might very well be certain. But this fact lies on top of a layer of faith or belief in mathematical rules.
Mark Manson argues that we are always wrong. We can only get less wrong, or more correct, but never be absolutely right. He is definitely on to something certain.
I think everyone, or at least myself, operates on believes and faiths at our core. Not only we can’t help feeling certain about those believes and faiths, we also head strong in our thoughts, emotions, and ideas, etc, for most of the time.
Alright, I don’t have explanations for faiths and believes yet, but thoughts, emotions, and ideas, as Mark wrote, are our brain neurons firing and interacting. Our brains are quick to make causal links of events that happen in our lives. Those links are likely more wrong if they don’t get a routine check-up. Same goes to gut feelings.
Holding on to incorrect beliefs, faiths, ideas, etc, as if they are the absolute, almighty testament can do more harm than good. Jim Kwik likes to say most people certainly perceive themselves as having bad memory, and the universe so grants them such. Only when they question their belief, then they might be granted a chance to hold on to a less-wrong version. I was certain that I don’t like dancing. But I finally experience otherwise, and my earthly experience is now better.
As Mark argues, certainty in our thoughts and believes can make us become easily offended when people or events suggest otherwise. When we get offended, we usually response by fight or flight. By embracing uncertainty, we get less edgy, become more open to reevaluation, and can grow to be less wrong and more correct.
Stephen Covey wrote in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that we navigate the world with our mental lenses. The world is tainted, magnified, focused, blurred, etc by those lenses we choose to view. Some choosing is conscious; others are not. Embracing uncertainty and regular questioning help you validate your lenses, and replace your wrong ones with less-wrong ones.
Uncertainty is one of the three marks of existence in Buddhism, including suffering and non-self. Uncertainty is the fundamental property of the quantum universe. Uncertainty is definitely something to reckon with.
P.S. Thank you Mark Manson for a good book :). Link to the book is here.
