『How to wake up A E S T H E T I C A L L Y every morning』
GREETINGS, FELLOW YOUNG BOY AND/OR GIRL. Wait, I’m actually really old, you’re thinking. Well, you’re young to me. Because age seems to be just a numerical representation of how long we’ve been flopping around on this planet based on our human interpretation of what the hell this ‘time’ thing is. Something about planets hovering aimlessly around other planets really does clue us in that October is actually October. Or does it? Anyway, you’re only old if you believe you’re old. It’s my firm belief that we’re young until we die unless we pretend not to be the youthful soul we were born into. Granted, sometimes that isn’t totally under your control; life can life you up pretty weirdly sometimes. But it’s all good in the hood, because you’re on the INTERNETインターネット!! (the place where nothing actually matters)
That said, strap your young self in, throw on some CLASSIC SAINT PEPSI or MACINTOSH PLUS, scoot your desk chair in just a little more, breathe, and let’s all take a hard, very, very serious look on how to wake up every day with the sparkle of a million suns under our eyelids.
「一緒に行く!!!」￥￥￥￥￥
Before we get too ahead of ourselves, let’s set up the premise, my fellow space-traveling g a n g s t a宇宙飛行士. Picture this: our precious mother, the great Sun (Helios, Sol, Ra, Horus, Atum, and other pals), is rising for a new day. You hear your god-awful anime opener alarm blasting straight into your ear canals. All is well. You’re waking up. You hear your brain tell your body its favorite quote of the day:
“DUDE, SERIOUSLY? PUT ME BACK TO SLEEP, BODY. I HATE DAYLIGHT. F@#$%#$%￥￥￥YOU. JUST 三 MORE MINUTES.”
Now, let’s put things into p e r s p e c t i v e [真相]. The moment you slam your head into your pillow every night, you are actually accepting death for the day. You’re killing yourself willingly, maybe because you’re all out of energy from all the anime you’ve watched, or other, obviously less important reasons. You really can’t bear to watch another episode, no matter how many waifus/husbandos you’ve married today and how many more you think you’d need to feel satisfied. I suppose in that situation it isn’t exactly a willing death (inevitable death is more accurate), but you catch my Tokyo drift. The point is, you’re letting your life as you know it disintegrate the moment you fall asleep. You’re losing consciousness.
“Okay enough gifs, dude. My attention span isn’t that busted that I need some entertaining diversion every 69 seconds. I’m very young and not patient at all. Plus, I hate reading, dude.
… … ..wait —
What were we talking about again? Anime? I love anime ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Oh and video games too. AND VAPORWAVE! Everyone listens to it, so I like it.”
~SHUT UP DUDE, I’M THE ONE WRITING THIS THING~
When you think of the concept of death [死都市], what comes to mind?
When I think of death, I think of a dissolution of all conscious control, a diving into the unknown darkness. Or maybe it’s an indifferent plunge into the vortex of existence, a total ejection from the pilot seat akin to an ~8 hour vacation into a black hole. You don’t really know for sure you’ll wake up the next day, just like how you don’t know whether or not you’ll return if you take a vacation straight into a black hole. You traverse alternate dimensions, dream landscapes, maybe a few absolute voids of chaos and uncertainty.
Just because you’ve managed to wake yourself up every single day prior to this one AND managed to lock all your doors, you don’t have the [undeniable evidence] that holds the ticket for morning’s arrival. You just make an (un)educated assumption, but let’s not make an ASS out of U + ME and deny the possibility of your roommate or pet farting on your sleeping face and ending everything right then and there. Or, you know, a sudden nuclear decision from that dude in Korea with the hair.
It’s all a gamble, yo, on whether or not the rest of the 7.5 billion people (2016) at this exact moment are sleeping or plotting world destruction. Let’s hope they need sleep just like you do.
Sleep//death is a total relinquishing of conscious safety. No matter how hard you guard yourself physically and/or mentally during your hours of awakening, you either eventually give in and die for sleep or… actually die. Let’s take a moment and remember the man who played Starcraft for 50 hours without taking a ~death//sleep~ break and… actually dying. RIP in peace, brave young brother. You’ve served your purpose. You probably played Terran, you good-for-nothing jerk.
And so the story goes, you’re clawing about in nothingness, traveling through the chaos that is some particular type of brain mush. You’re dreaming. Er, at least, what is commonly referred to as dreaming when others stare at your flittering, sleeping eyelids or when others place electrodes all over your head and declare loudly “That’s right, doc. This lad’s dreaming.” You, sitting and sleeping in the seat of your consciousness, don’t actually have any idea what the hell is going on.
Then, out of nowhere, by the magic of bright light or utter darkness (if you’re a night owl, replace all mentions of motherly Sun with cousinly Moon), you’re resurrected. Finally, you are capable of declaring control once more over your consciousness and body. And all this time, during your black hole vacation, your DNA unhesitatingly takes control of the darkness, finds some energy from the ether, and jams it straight up your butt. You’re fucking ready for a new day. A new life, even. Thanks, DNA.
「Every. Damn. Day. You traverse the void, space cowboy.」
Do you seriously think you will achieve a wonderful day of any measure when you insult the very process that brings you literally back to life? Well.. I guess you could. If you, um, tried. BUT I’M ATTEMPTING TO MAKE AN ARGUMENT HERE!! Jesus, young people these days. I’m not old, I swear. And you’re not Jesus. But I can’t prove or disprove that.
SORRY, I rambled a tad. What I’m saying is this: let’s work together (頑張って!!) and bring the strength of the sun into our eyes every waking moment. Get into your body in the most literal sense. It’s a total collaboration of the brain, sun, body, and love!
EXCERRENT!!
“Live as if you were to be brutally destroyed silently in your sleep at night.” — c o n f u c i u s 孔子
“Wake up as if you remembered that you were brutally destroyed silently in your sleep last night.” — l a o t z u 老子
To conclude this episode of [aesthetic lad writing nonsense on the internet], you’re only young until you die every night. Your youth then returns to you as soon as you open your eyes and decide not to yell at your self or your lovely mother Sun for waking you up. This is how you let her know that you appreciate her radiant, supple breasts for bringing forth life on the daily.
If you find yourself yelling at your self for entering a new day, you are old and dying in the realest of senses. And hey, that’s totally fine, brother and/or sister. We’re always hovering between days of youth and days of elderly, depressing institutionally-induced age. Let’s just ride the W A V E S. Mom knows you love her, but it’s just nice to actively show that love sometimes when you’re totally physically capable. How can you express your love? By waking the hell up! Incapable of doing that still!? Even after reading a few words on the INTERNETインターネット?? Then watch this damn video!!
NOT ENOUGH!? STILL DON’T GET IT? THEN UHHHHH NOT SURE, maybe you can try FREESTYLING. Yeah, I don’t self-promote my stuff. Don’t accuse me of shit I totally do blatantly.
「don’t believe everything you read on the INTERNETインターネット, especially if it’s written by a purple fool who knows nothing about anything. I have a degree: it’s a PhD in aesthetics, so I can probably back up my statements.」
