just focus on yourself, nobody actually cares about what you do
no one really cares about what we do or what we think; they have their own problems.
I always thought that everybody was watching.
I went to a coffee shop. I order a coffee and then walk my way to my seat with my friend. I’m overreacting because everyone is watching. I feel like I’m doing something wrong or have something on my face.
Most of my time at the cafe is spent almost focusing on my sitting position, how people see my face, etc.
What are the things that I’m actually doing wrong?
There’s something wrong with me
The same story happens when I go to the gym.
I’m a beginner, and I may do some exercises with bad form. I feel like I made a mistake in my workout, and I’m worried people might think I look stupid.
I always thought that everybody was judging.
At the coffee shop, I thought that I was doing something wrong. I might go to the wrong toilet. I’m afraid of someone judging me based on how I look and behave.
This might feel like a spotlight effect.
The other time is when I’m working on something. I want to improve myself by going to the gym or writing every day. I am afraid sometimes that my family or my friends are going to judge me for doing that.
They might judge me based on how I work out or why I spend my time writing every day. This all ends up being overthinking about what I do.
I always thought that everybody cared about what I did
Whenever I do something and post it on social media, I feel like people care about it.
I sometimes go to a minimarket and buy some things. I thought that people would care about it if my friends met me there.
When I go on holiday and post it. I thought that people would care about where I’m going or what I do.
Then I realized
No one really cares.
No one even really wants to care.
People have their own problems.
They have their own lives. They have their own goals every day and every minute.
They don’t really care about what we do or what we think at the end.
They might care. For 5 minutes.
After that, they go back to doing what they do. They are focusing on the problems their families have. They might feel sad or angry. If they have all of those kinds of problems, do they have time to think about us?
When we make mistakes on our own, does anyone really care for more than an hour?
They actually don’t care.
The same way when I saw someone fall down while riding a motorcycle.
It was not a big accident; he just fell down from his own bike. There are people helping him too.
Disclaimer: He was alright.
Then guess what?
Do I think about him falling down, like why he fell down or how he fell for 24 hours? No.
I started thinking about my own problems after that. I focused on my gym workout before. I focus on what I’m going to write today. I focus on myself. Just me. No other people. No other thoughts. Just me.
We are just overreacting.
No one really cares
We thought that people were watching us.
I don’t want to say that we are narcissistic, because I’m not going to talk about that. I’m just saying that it is normal to feel like that. Feeling that people might be judging us or watching us.
It’s not okay if we take action based on that.
How people see us should not control us.
How people judge us should not control us.
How people perceive us should not control us.
Except if you find it beneficial for your change, though.
There are times when people give me some advice, but I don’t accept it. I get offensive, but I know that I was doing something wrong. This is where you need to set aside your ego and become better.
Even so, those who saw and judged us controlled us without considering what was best for us.
What can you learn?
What you can learn from this article is that you need to focus on yourself.
Just work on yourself. Train hard. Be better. Wake up early. Sleep enough.
Those are what you need to focus on. You don’t have to think about how people see you or how they behave toward you. Just focus on yourself and improve yourself.
At least every day for 1%.
When I stop thinking about other people, realizing that they don’t care, I become more focused. I became more controlled. I have the freedom to do what I want to do.
The same as you.
You have the freedom if you mistakenly park in the wrong parking spot. You have freedom if you mistakenly order the wrong menu. You have freedom if you mistakenly say the wrong things.
At least you learn from those mistakes.
You become better. You evaluate yourself.
Those are much more important than what other people see or judge.
- Focus on yourself.
- Improve yourself.
- Have tunnel vision.
It’s just you and yourself to become the best version of who you are.
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