How to Get a Get? Navigating the Loopholes of Jewish Divorce Law
Obtaining a ketubah and a get are two of the critical documents required for the beginning and ending of a marriage under halakha (Jewish law). Witnesses are required for the creation and dissolution of a marriage (whether it is a traditional marriage between man and woman, or a same-sex couple).[1] For more information on ketubot, check out Ketubah — What Exactly is this Jewish Marriage Contract.
Often people think of a get as an archaic formality, unnecessary, especially if the parties are not religious. However, this misconception creates landmines for both parties, however, the consequences for women are much more dire. For women, these consequences of failing to obtain a get also extend to her future children, whereas for men, their future children are not impacted by get refusals. If a woman fails to obtain a get, before moving onto a new relationship: any new relationship would be considered adultery, any children that come from that new relationship would be considered mamzerim, (a stigma of “bastard,” which prevents children from acting freely within their own community), can be cut off from the State of Israel, and causes an inability to freely marry again.[2] If a man, on the other hand, fails to obtain a get before beginning a new relationship, he is still free to engage in sexual intercourse and does not risk the stigmatization of their (future) children as bastards.[3] A husband whose wife refuses to accept the get has an additional advantage, they can be freed from the marriage by receiving 100 signatures from rabbis, if the rabbis find the wife to be unreasonable — women do not have this same option.[4]
When a spouse, (traditionally the wife, because the husband has the option to get 100 signatures), is civilly-divorced — but religiously married — and the spouse (typically the husband) is refusing to grant the get, the woman is considered “chained” to her religious marriage and is commonly referred to as an “agunah.”
While men can use coercion, women are unable to force their husband to issue a get; in an effort to obtain a get, this again provides men — but not women — with a tool to obtain the divorce they seek. Under very limited circumstances will the Beit Din impose penalties upon the husband in order to obtain compliance with the get. The coercive tactics that can be used ranges from fines, community ostracism, to corporal punishment; however, if the husband is willing to suffer the punishments, the Beit Din is powerless in ordering a get since a get must be exclusively authorized by the husband. Again, men are given multiple loopholes in obtaining a get, and the ability to refuse a get. [5]
Fortunately, there are organizations out there supporting Agunot. Below are organizations which help further the goal of obtaining gets, educating the public, and providing other resources:
- https://www.getora.org/ (organization focused on Jewish law and civil law to advocate for the timely and unconditional issuance of a get);
- https://www.jofa.org/agunot (provides extensive resources regarding Jewish divorce);
- http://www.kayama.org/what-is-a-get (helps explain the process and will help cover fees if necessary);
- http://www.getyourget.com/get-basics#whatisaget (information on gets); and
- https://www.jwi.org/get-smart (information on get abuse).
If you are reading this, and you are wondering, what can possibly be done to prevent these unfortunate situations from occurring, you are thinking in the right direction. While there is no “one solution” to the problem created by get refusals, there are some ways for people to act before they get married, and organizations out there to assist in finding solutions once a marriage has already begun. Among the possible ways to help prevent get refusals, is through a pre-nuptial agreement and some rabbis allow the ketubah to be read in a provision called the “Lieberman Clause.” However, it is important to keep in mind that preventative measures are not entirely embraced by all branches of Judaism.
[1] Elliot Dorff, Daniel Nevins, & Avram Reisner, Rituals and Documents of Marriage and Divorce for Same-Sex Couples, (Dec. 3, 2021), https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/public/halakhah/teshuvot/2011-2020/same-sex-marriage-and-divorce-appendix.pdf.
[2] Civil Enforcement of Jewish Marriage and Divorce: Constitutional Accommodation of a Religious
Mandate, 45 DePaul L. Rev. at 499–500.
[3] Id. 34 Touro L. Rev. at 757–758.
[4] Id.
[5] Id. at 499.
