Can you control your social media?

Occasionally bursting the social media bubble surrounding us may do wonders for our determination and our quest for real connections, as well as nudging us towards the choice of memories over ‘stories’.

Earlier this year, the ups and downs of life made me think about my use of social media. Social networks are not always simple to handle, especially at times when you face some difficult or debilitating situations in life. I grew up with social networks, but under similar circumstances I pondered how different my life would be if I decided to break out from them for some time. One morning, I did.

Usually I make a pretty active use of social networks. Twitter, for work and not, Instagram and Facebook. I am not in it for the likes, but it’s nice to maintain an online presence for me, my friends and family. Besides, I’m the kind of person who is very aware of the content I share online — from my holiday in 2012, to the most recent update on LinkedIn. I try to stick to a usage “style” for every channel, seeing that each one is slightly different.

Social networks by content

It’s important to say that not all socials can be regarded in the same way. They serve manifold purposes and vary in how they connect users together.

• First we have messaging platforms. These allow for an active form of communication, where one person has to reach out to you in order to prompt a conversation, and you may reply in your own time.
• There are sharing sites, which can be used to post about your public and personal life, to share your thoughts or otherwise by companies and brands. All this content forms a never-ending feed which proves to be really addictive and to keep users continuously scrolling.
• Similar to the previous one are light entertainment platforms, with passive user interaction. TikTok, Facebook Watch and Instagram TV provide short consumable videos with a social and viral side to them.

On Sunday 23rd February, I hit ‘disable account’ on all my sharing sites and entertainment platforms, putting a halt to the endless stream of posts they were generating. Instead I kept one messaging platform, seeing that I was fond of the idea of ‘on-demand’ socialisation, and not deeming it to be a waste of time, especially in a situation of prolonged isolation.

How did it go? What changed?

Sticking to these rules and staying off social media was a true godsend for me. As a Christian, I considered it to be a valuable Lenten sacrifice for reflection and preparation. And over the eight weeks that followed I managed to achieve the following.

1. Get productive time back. No screen time or daily reminder feature will let you understand how much time you spend on friends’ feeds and ‘5-minute crafts’ videos until you stop. And even if it’s not time wasted, the content we see affects our mood and can lead to unhealthy habits.
2. Focus on your goals. From important life activities, such as finding a new job, to various other projects, the social network hiatus has without doubt made it easy to concentrate on my objectives. Think about it: relaxing time to get what you like done — no need to pause it forever.
3. Live the reality you’re in. Social networks often blur the edges that delimit whom and what is part of our lives. You’re wrong if you assume people will believe you’re not up to anything if you don’t post about it on social media. They will eagerly ask about it the next time you meet.

Instead of paying attention to what the people I follow were doing in other parts of the country, I started to serenely enjoy my present, my friends, and every event and moment together. To make memories of it was crucial, to share it online rather needless.

Missing out on social networks

The biggest question I had was: if I rid myself of my social networks, will I feel disconnected? How lonely would I feel? I can’t stand to be missing out.

These legitimate worries come from our perception of what it means to be connected. We’ve grown to think that the “stream” of posts we draw from is the way to keep in touch and be part of our friends’ lives. But this is not the case. As if inside giant bubble balloons, we see each other but don’t interact.

These fifty days showed me that these sharing sites offer but an illusion of social contact. They are more superficial and superfluous than we believe. Instead I returned to appreciating close-circle communication and my old-time ability to live with myself. Being able to carry on messaging my friends and family means that I never felt lonely. But there are things that I missed.

• Edifying content. There is genuinely good content on sites like Twitter. Some of it is enlightening, other simply entertaining: interesting points being made in response to current events, music announcements, new technologies, or the odd tweet there to make you laugh.
• Facebook events. No denial here: events on Facebook work really well for people my age to watch what parties are on and what activities your friends are up to. All I did was to ask my pals to keep me in the loop.

On the other hand, I was happy to do without fake news, uninformed and aggressive comments, and the infinite stream of posts and short videos from which there was little to gain. Crucially, I also avoided the endless routine of nosy lookups, only because of social media’s ability to secretly do so.

Control social media with good habits

Thanks to the great determination I had to get through this online hiatus, I didn’t find it hard to stick to the rules and stay away from social networks. I happily looked forward to dedicating more time to my projects. Only after I completed them and learned new online habits, I felt like it was time to return to my accounts, roughly two months from the beginning.

As if inside giant bubble balloons, we see each other but don’t interact.

After this brief and personal article, reflect about the impact, if any, that social media has on your life, on how you spend your time, and how you interact with your friends online, but also in reality. Think about the moments you spend alone at home too. If you ever feel overwhelmed, in need of a break, or having to sort things out, then make the decision to take some time off. You might not realise how much you’re affected by them until you do this. It doesn’t have to be forever, and as I said before, it will hardly make you feel disconnected.

Controlling your social media is like controlling other potentially risky but fun activities in life. Be aware of the negative effects they have on you, especially the types of social sites that are less useful. Writing this article was a social media act. But it’s what I deem to be a good use of it.

I hope you agree that it’s best to spend time in ways that make you grow. And to let as many events as you can reside in the memories of you and those who were present, not in your story archive. You won’t regret it.