I’ve seriously been considering dropping out of med school
In a recent study, 9.4% of fourth-year medical students and residents reported having suicidal thoughts in the previous two weeks. According to the American Medical Student Association, medical students are three times more likely to die by suicide as their same-age peers. And while it’s unclear how many physician trainees die by suicide each year, suicide is the leading cause of death among male residents and the second leading cause of death among female residents.
Studies show that students arrive at medical school with the same or better mental health as their peers. But after two years, they tend to suffer significant burnout, stress, and anxiety. As they continue to progress in their training, they are at significant risk for depression. In a 2014 Academic Medicine study of medical residents, 60% met the criteria for burnout, more than half screened positive for depression, and roughly 8% experienced suicidal ideation.
Many of these trainees know they’re in crisis. But only one-third of medical students experiencing burnout or depression seek help — mainly because they’re afraid of what it might do to their careers.
There’s a lot of suffering among medical students, residents, and physicians that goes unnoticed by the general public because people don’t understand the complicated system of medicine. Many of us don’t realize that because healthcare providers are oppressed by a system, they can’t advocate for their patients the way they should!!
When healthcare providers aren’t well, patients are not safe!
“The changing landscape of the U.S. health care system has had profound effects on clinical practice and the experiences of clinicians, students and trainees (“learners”), and patients and their families. Mounting system pressures have contributed to an imbalance of overwhelming job demands and insufficient job resources for clinicians, causing physical, psychological, and emotional stress, including burnout — a workplace syndrome that is characterized by high emotional exhaustion, high depersonalization (i.e., cynicism), and a low sense of personal accomplishment from work.”
We are not safe when our health care providers are facing emotional exhaustion, high depersonalization (i.e., cynicism), and a low sense of personal accomplishment from work. But at this point, we’re all are experiencing burnout so we can’t even fully empathize with one another. And instead of holding the systems that were meant to keep us safe accountable, we’re taking out our frustrations on each other or staying silent while others suffer because that’s how we’re dealing with our own suffering.
What we need is more leaders with bold ideas who transform things for the better for everyone. A system where you don’t need to worry about politics because you have bold leaders who are willing to protect you and listen to everyone. Unfortunately, our current system does not foster that kind of environment nor does it welcome systemic reform and patient advocacy. In fact, they crush us hard so that we become just another cog in the machine, only focused on making ourselves and the hospital money.
Even after 4 years of med school and hundreds of thousands in student loans, were not guaranteed a job after graduating. “In total, over 21% of all applicants in the 2021 cycle did not match into a residency program, forcing thousands to balance crippling debt and dwindling career opportunities with the stress, trauma, and hopelessness borne of becoming a doctor during the COVID-19 pandemic.” Imagine the mental toll of not getting a job after graduating from med school with a quarter to half a million in debt.
And to prevent that from happening, we have to glorify suffering alone as a badge of honor and strength. We have to stay silent and accept the status quo. Well, I just can’t continue to watch all this suffering and be bothered to tiptoe around professionalism to advocate for people. Especially when professionalism is being used as a form of oppression.
A once noble profession has now been made into something corrupt, a money-driven enterprise sustained by a culture of intimidation.
And when people say, “you can change a corrupt system from the inside” they are talking about incrementalism. Small changes over many generations. But we don’t have that kind of time left. People are dying now. Our medical system is crumbling right now! Our healthcare providers are killing themselves to manage this pandemic & then taking their own lives because of all the compartmentalized PTSD, depression, and burnout. Climate change is posing new health threats every day with people being displaced from their homes and communities. People are dying and our leaders are posing for a photo-op instead of putting in the work and doing what needs to be done to take care of people.
Were in a global pandemic and ya want me to move the needle? In the words of Greta Thunberg, “We will not be able to address a crisis that we do not treat as a crisis and understand the magnitude of”. We need to take unprecedented measures to show our commitment to one another and to regain the trust of patients.
We have all the science for this vaccine but so much mistrust because instead of getting facts about this vaccine from their doctors, people have had to rely on the news, social media, and politicians for information. Why? Well because not everyone has access to a doctor in this country. Even in a pandemic, medicine is inaccessible to everyone, but our government wants us to blame the unvaccinated for our COVID numbers. And even if they do have access to care, not everyone trusts medicine to not be exploitative. After all, healthcare cost is the number one reason for bankruptcies in the US.
We need to reform our exploitative healthcare system if we are to address this pandemic. Especially with 66% of Americans fearing they won’t be able to afford health care and 39% of Americans being more worried about medical bills than Covid-19.
Our government’s poor response to this pandemic is killing us! Our healthcare system’s focus on profit is killing us! Our current system does not care for patients nor does it care about providers. It’s made that very clear. Burnout among health care providers not only threatens the health of providers but the quality of care of patients and the future of our healthcare system. Right now, people are dying from treatable illnesses because our system is overwhelmed.
This is the reality of our system. And I understand, we need good people in every position fighting this good fighting and I could make an impact from the inside in a couple of years, but I’m just wondering if I should go through 4 years of med school and 4–7 years of residency, being conditioned to stay silent to avoid losing a future job, at the expense of people who are suffering today.
We have to transform our healthcare system if we are going to help people who are suffering. And I want to be in an environment where I am being empowered and encouraged to advocate for patients. But a system doesn’t teach individuals how to reform it or take it down. That’s illogical.
The system wants us to feel helpless as if we are the problem rather than the exploitative system that makes us feel this way. They silence us and use our labor to make money while punishing us for dissent.
I am not helpless, and I will not be cornered or silenced. There’s nothing more comforting than knowing who you are and what you stand for. Medicine is not my life’s purpose. Helping people is my purpose. Medicine is just one way of achieving that goal.
Thank you for your concern, friends, and family. I’m alright. Just a bit demoralized. I’m just dealing with a lot of doubt about whether medicine in the U.S. is willing to accept me as ‘radical’ as I am. If not, I’ll just have to create alternative ways of caring and healing vulnerable communities, because I just can’t see myself staying silent or exploiting the people that I sought to care for.
Y’all are probably not used to seeing the doubt that we all feel projected on social media. Well, I’m human and I think it’s okay, to be honest, & vulnerable on social media, instead of flexing like everything’s okay.
Anyway, let me study for my exam on Tuesday…
