64 Things People Who Double Space After A Period Probably Do
I was born in 1983, meaning when I was in elementary school, computers existed but sucked more than the vacuum in the Cleveland Browns’ maintenance closet. If you grew up at around the same time, you probably remember keyboard class. We learned some useful things, like the home row. We also learned some terrible, life-ruining things, like double spacing after a period.
If you still do this, I understand that it’s what you were taught. And while you and I are busy understanding things, you should understand that you need to knock it off. It’s a design eyesore, it’s an inefficient extra keystroke, it wastes space, it hurts the environment and it makes puppies cry.
Some heroes are helping to change minds. The good folks at Medium, for example, simply don’t let us double space after a period. Go ahead and write a comment on this story. Try to double space. I’ll wait.
Here’s a list in the meantime.
People Who Double Space After A Period Probably…
- Use a PC
- Wash their clothes with cold water
- Enable read receipts on their phone but forget to respond
- Try to DVR Netflix shows
- Do pushups at work
- Make someone else shuffle the playing cards
- Interrupt without apologizing
- Breathe loudly enough while eating to make a passerby think they’re doing pushups at work
- Recently Tebowed somebody
- Think meme is pronounced “me me”
- Loved Arrested Development Season 4
- Loved House of Cards Season 3
- Secretly love the smell of skunk spray
- Get gas in dollar increments instead of letting it hit F
- Wrote a check today
- Never eat breakfast
- Hate joy
- Love Phoebe and Monica
- Read every NFL Mock Draft they can get their hands on
- Think black coffee really, truly tastes good
- Loved Jurassic World
- Think Chris Pratt is just ok
- Wipe standing up
- Hold a door for someone who’s far enough away that they feel like they need to run to compensate
- Love conference calls
- Wouldn’t tell you if you had something in your teeth
- Get mad at you for offering them your seat
- Eat the last donut
- Love the DraftKings ads
- Cut a quarter out of four donuts because they “just want a sampler”
- Make a passenger parallel park for them
- Still haven’t quite mastered how to order at a drive-thru
- Have absolutely no clue how to pronounce “Chipotle”
- Say “supposably”
- Don’t get Settlers of Catan
- Think Kyle is the best South Park character
- Treat strangers better than loved ones
- Yell “DUTCH OVEN” as they’re dutch ovening someone
- Prefer Microsoft Word to Google Docs
- Took two kickers in their fantasy football draft
- Don’t like Robyn
- Think “donut” is spelled “doughnut”
- Leave a voicemail instead of a textmail
- Absolutely love all jazz
- Are pretty sure Kansas and Wyoming are the same thing
- Think Mindy is the best part of The Mindy Project
- Just stepped on the back of your shoe
- Preferred the Zune
- Are super stoked for the X-Games
- Think it should be spelled X-Gamez
- Have at least three DVDs that belong to former roommates
- Tip 10%
- Couldn’t get into both The Wire and Breaking Bad
- Have no idea computers can run out of space
- Pay for cable
- Try so very hard not to eat their boogers
- Finished Infinite Jest
- Never started Catch-22
- Soap their hands before they rinse them
- Just flipped their sweat onto you from the treadmill next to yours
- Said “I have such a sweet tooth” at least once this month
- Put their hand in front of their mouth while talking and chewing
- Watched Schindler’s List a second time
- Are absolutely 100% positive it’s correct to double space after a period.
Stop making puppies cry. They are cute and cuddly and cool.
Single space after a period. Good day.