Or you can pay me for my time
Which type of community member will you be?
I’m 20. Some people scoff, some people encourage and are proud of how far I’ve come in just a couple years. In the short amount of time I’ve been ‘on my own’ I’ve lived in three difference places, travelled to most of the big cities in the US, closed $20k+ projects, and have built up my clientele with the help and guidance of awesome mentors. I’m not saying that to brag, but to give perspective on my accomplishments over the past two years. I feel like I’ve worked hard just like everyone else had to at one point to achieve their goals and work their way up the ‘ladder.’
Over the past few months I’ve asked a couple members of the tech community where I live some simple questions and for advice, and even just to grab coffee. Here are a couple of the responses:
Well what did I ask? The first, I just asked a question about his experience with paying the founders of a new agency and the dilemma I was facing, and the second I was asking for any tips on managing clients and time. My email wasn’t more than a paragraph long, and I wasn’t demanding or asking things really complex. The $65/hr advice giving was definitely a discount from the other guys $300/hr, but why is putting a price on advice to a fellow community member the thing to do?
I pay for a desk just like they do at our local co-working spot. I am working my way up just like they did and I’m supposedly in the same community as they are, but in reality, I feel like I’m on another planet. It seems there is a group for the well established and notable, and a group for everyone else. Much like the class system in the Hunger Games, I feel as if my presence sometimes even offends them. This isn’t ‘welcoming and encouraging’ as they promised in the trendy marketing speak. I find it, quite frankly, to be bullshit.
Sure, I get people are busy, and that’s fine. I’m pretty busy myself, but I don’t find that I’m ever too busy for a 30 minute chat over coffee, especially when the inviting party is paying. What if I really was too busy? I’d say something like ‘Hey Josh, thanks for reaching out and looking to me for advice. I am currently under a big workload and don’t see myself having any extra time to grab coffee in the near future, but we should definitely get together sometime next month when my schedule opens up a bit. For now I would say to XYZ, and we can chat more about it when we meet up.’
That took less than a minute to type out. Maybe I am not worth someones time, even for 30 minutes. After all, what value am I providing them? Possibly none. But I wonder who they looked up to, if anyone, when they were starting out? I would like to believe that almost every successful designer, developer, startuper, CEO, etc. had someone that gave them that introduction, referral, guidance, or friendship that helped them get to where they are. I could be naive but I would be willing to bet that’s the case for most successful people.
To give an opposite reaction to a request for advice, here’s the response from one of the most valuable and helpful mentors I’ve had:
This person has helped me in so many ways over the past two years I can’t even begin to repay or thank him enough. He always buys my lunch, always is there when I need advice, and has given me huge referrals and opportunities I couldn’t have gotten myself. He’s more successful than the other two guys I asked advice from, and one could make a very valid argument that his time is worth much more than theirs but his response was much more inviting and welcoming than theirs.
I say all this to say, when you want to build a community of great innovation, passion, and intensity for the craft you do, be mindful of how you include newcomers or outsiders. It’s easy to get along with those you know, and maybe you aren’t sure what it takes to be a good mentor, but acting interested and giving people small amounts of your time can mean the world and go a long way to helping them become a valuable part of the community in the long run. One day they’ll be where you are and they’ll have the same requests for advice and mentorship. Pass the torch and wisdom that you’ve learned down to those who are thirsty to hear it.
Which type of community member will you be?
Side note: I should say that this goes for most people in most communities, there are the edge cases where well known and respected people can’t possibly respond to every request for advice, mentorship, etc. and that’s understandable. The people of the first two dialogues I posted do not fit this description. Our tech community is small compared to larger cities.
