3 Realizations You’ll Have Once You Stop Cutting People Out of Your Life
Making amends after a falling out is hard. But it might be the healthiest thing you do, according to science.
Kavika was the first friend I made in college. She and I were roommates for two years before we had a falling out. I said some rude words I wish I could take back. She did pretty much the same. And then, for a reason I don’t even remember now, we stopped talking for the rest of our college days.
The human brain is skilled at hiding stressful or fear-related memories. Mine did something similar. It erased Kavika and all the memories we had in the first two years of college. For all the years after, it was almost as if she didn’t exist. I got to live in pretend-happiness, comfortably in denial of everything that I’d done wrong.
This changed a few days ago, when a friend got engaged, and a few mutual friends created a WhatsApp group. Kavika was in there too, and for a moment, I felt slightly uncomfortable — as if she had wronged me, and now I had to face her. But slowly, as if they had been there all along, but simply been inaccessible to me, the old memories surfaced.
The hurt was replaced by shame. I couldn’t believe how I’d let such a minor dispute get in the way of…
