To fall in love again.
Every chick-flick, or romantic comedy, has the same premise. A lady falls for the wrong guy. A few scenarios play out, culminating in a frantic rush to an airport where Mr Right declares his love. And they live happily ever after.
Decision making follows the same narrative. We want to make the right choices when they matter. What follows is a few insights on how to get to life’s airport on time.
Always avoid the Ex.
Investments made in the past should not influence the decision-making process. Sunk-costs will bind you to the past where regrets reside. Free yourself, look forward.
Two years ago, I faced a tough decision. Uproot, sell everything and move to Warsaw, Poland. Paralysed with fear of the unknown it was easy to cling to my past investments; a home, well-defined career and a network of associates. Once I realised that these represented a sunk-cost, I was able to free myself to evaluate the decision I had to make.
Finding Mr Right
Come to terms with these; to avoid making a decision, is a decision and everybody has a blind spot. The latter refers to paradigm blindness. Our own ‘invented’ stories that obscure additional choices from us. Mr Right might be standing in your blind spot, obscured by the assumptions you unwittingly cling to.
Re-frame. Identify the assumptions that make up the narrative. Construct alternative stories or at the very least consider a more comprehensive set of possibilities.
“The frames our minds create define — and confine — what perceive to be possible”, Rozamund Stone Zander and Benjiman Zander, The Art of Possibility.
Don’t fall in love with the ending.
A general rule of thumb; good decisions don’t necessarily result in good outcomes. Visualising, or fixating on the outcome will paralyse or lead you astray. Focus on finding Mr Right; you do not have control over the ‘happily ever after’.
Years ago I faced a decision that involved my integrity. In-depth analysis brought me to a point where I had to leave a team, career and company I still miss to this day. It was a right decision to make, despite the outcome.
Place the bet
With the investment made, the analysis prepared, its’ time to place the bet. The odds are in your favour. Bet on love!
Oh, don’t forget. If the outcome is not the happy ending you hoped for, you’ll have a chance to make up for it in the sequel.
