Standing Out & Blending In: My Experience at Epicurrence — The Montues
First, let me explain what Epicurrence is. It’s an invite-only event held by Dann Petty under the guise of a “conference,” where some of the most talented creatives in the world gather. In the past, 40–60 friends of Dann meet to have a weeklong break from normal life and conduct an open forum on industry topics and intimate storytelling. This time around, a new series, The Montues, was created to bring this experience to a larger audience (primarily on a Monday & Tuesday). My ears were glued to finding out more, despite my complete awareness that I may not have fit the description of “best” or “most talented.”
Superlatives are not something I’ve ever been comfortable with having as a descriptor, but that’s a longer story. I’ve never considered myself great or the best of anything, yet there I was in January gawking at the phone at my invite to the Epicurrence un-conference. Among the fears running through my head (financial, time availability, and more), I thought how could an outgoing introvert, like myself, ever feel comfortable in this environment? The term “outgoing introvert” is an oxymoron on par with “jumbo shrimp” and “deafening silence,” but for people who fall into this category, life can be an unusual mix of traits and tendencies that only we can truly appreciate (or dread).
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde
Before Epicurrence
My entire life has arguably been fraught with setback-filled valleys and unexpected summits of success, a rollercoaster that makes me and the title of this piece a conundrum. I’ve navigated a large part of my life with a broken spirit due to being inundated with adult experiences at a young age. But, as I said during the event, I don’t seek pity or handouts or wish to have my struggles labeled as a handicap. All this goes to say, I have never taken any accomplishment lightly nor did I take getting into Epicurrence lightly. I have wanted to attend this particular event since its start; the unconference format is new and the frequency and caliber of execution of Epicurrence is understatedly rare. Being a naturally curious and driven person, I’ve also employed a methodology of taking risks and figuring out how to cross the bridges as I got to them. Getting to Epicurrence was no different.
I remember being hesitant to smile upon receiving Dann’s email about getting in, and I had good reason. I had just applied on the 15th of December and didn’t expect to hear back so soon, let alone with a 7-day countdown to pay the cost of entry. Epicurrence is a compound word for ‘Epic’ & ‘Occurence’ but its epicness comes with a cost. In a matter of 7 days, I, a freelancer, told all my clients and business partners that I needed to take off for a few days to go to what seemed like a weekend snowboarding trip, that I claimed would push my career forward and offer personal growth on a higher scale than any other event I had attended thus far. People thought I was making a lot of hype over nothing, reading too much into medium posts of former attendees, and my main client probably thought I just wanted to use their conference budget to fund a vacation. Nathan Graeff, a dear friend and business partner, began the support that I needed and set the tone for an amazing trip. He helped me get most of the funds because he understood what a spectacle it is to witness me sad. Sad, not because I had family issues or a new financial burden, but sad because I was legitimately feeling like my hard work hadn’t provided me the means to enjoy this experience. Nathan forever has my gratitude and sincere friendship.
Fast-forward to a week before the event, I’ve paid for the event ticket (with lodging), flights, my rental car, hundreds of dollars in snowboarding attire, and gotten the time off from work greenlighted by my lovely clients and business partners. At this point, my OCD had kicked into overdrive and I tried to use my time and resources efficiently. Dann put a lot of weight into people connecting on a legitimate level; he wanted each of us to create long-lasting friendships from the shared experiences and this started from the second we confirmed attendance. This begins with virtually meeting your fellow attendees before getting to put faces to their names. I already loved instant messaging services like HipChat, and dived fully into what Slack had to offer as our communication platform. Some from the event would say I became the certified Slack King, as I engaged in introductions, knowledge sharing, and showing off works in progress with fellow creatives. Then, I decided to up the ante and help with transportation, a fun data challenge for me as I like to connect dots and craft solutions based on obvious and also overlooked metrics. By the time my bags were packed, over 45 stoked participants were slotted into a seat (whether it was in an Uber, rental car, or the empty seat of a fellow attendee). I chose to step up and stand out despite the risk of not meeting everyone’s need because all I ever try to do is help. It’s the one thing I’ve learned that truly has little downsides.
During Epicurrence
“300 people. This is nuts!” — Dann Petty
I landed in Reno-Tahoe International Airport on Sunday morning and couldn’t help but notice the small, huddled groups of designer-looking attires, beards, and the occasional face of a lost and tired traveler. It was like walking into a family reunion housed by the baggage claim hall of RNO. We all gathered our things and eventually all made it up to the Ritz-Carlton Lake Tahoe for 3 amazing days with 300 amazing people. The carpools up the mountain, the ominous shit tons of snow that were dumping on us, and the raw buzz of eager and open-minded folk made the mammoth of a building feel like a cozy home during our stay.
Dann pulled off the creation of a mini ecosystem of acceptance and understanding during those 3 days. I felt my insecurities subside, my walls of fear recede, and my personality shined through. A lot of this had to do with the Trust Tree, a system that allows everyone to operate without fear of being quoted or live-tweeted, a real feat nowadays, and even harder since this event was over 4x bigger than his previous. We resorted to calling it the Trust Forrest.
It was an honor to assist where I could, share stories with industry heroes and aspiring student designers, and to genuinely feel a sense of belonging. As an African-American male (raised by a single mother), who is also a second-generation immigrant and gay, it’s a rare feeling. The environment seemed especially unique due to the shadow that floats over the tech industry as failing to be a community that welcomes diversity and inclusion. I must say that I felt welcomed before, during, and after being able to have my story heard during the event’s Diversity & Inclusion panel, an activity I’d never imagine occurring at any event I’ve ever attended. I felt free to express my thoughts and opinions on the slopes and around the tables during meals, on almost any subject. Refreshing would be a vast understatement.
I could elaborate for days about how incredible it was learning to snowboard for the first time, meeting titans of my industry, or getting to feel like my contributions actually made a difference to people. Instead, I’d like to share this statement, in the form of my favorite quote:
“The No. 1 antidote to fear is experience. Which means not hiding under the radar until called upon but volunteering…in a variety of settings again and again. Practicing, rehearsing, getting up, and doing until the nervous feelings become familiar and the belief in your ability to get through them is strengthened.” — Elaine Rogers, Toastmaster
After Epicurrence
The Epicurrence event and the experiences I had created an “Aha!” moment for me. My life experience can be likened to that of “The Ugly Duckling” (Danish: “Den Grimme Ælling”). For many of you, the tale and the analogies that can be drawn are already clear: it is a literary fairy tale by Danish poet and author Hans Christian Andersen. The story tells of a homely little bird born in a barnyard who suffers abuse from the others around him until, much to his delight (and to the surprise of others), he matures into a beautiful swan. We are all beautiful swans. I came back to Washington, D.C. after this event with a clear mind, new friends, a restarted passion for art, healing self-esteem, and a reinvigorated perspective. Life deals everyone a hand of cards and it’s up to each one of us to play our hand as we wish. I played my cards right at times and wrong at others, but the point is that I played. You can’t win a game you are never in and I believe you can’t be the best without allowing those who are better and worse than you to share in your experiences. Dann Petty deserves a crown jewel for recreating this process with his events. Having returned refreshed and focused, I’m making a big change in my career, eventually a huge change in who I work for, and I’m already in a different headspace about my future. I couldn’t be more grateful for the experience.
No matter the fears people may project or the concerns you may have, get yourself into new environments and truly live. For me and for creatives, the epitome of that advice is to attend Epicurrence; you’ll never regret it. When people see this, they may think I stood out because of any number of reasons. I’d like to say that all the attendees stood out in their own way and we blended into a homogeneous community of creative problem solvers who genuinely had a love for life and shared it with each other. We were able to enjoy the experience together, work together constantly, and feel no pressure to be more or less than what we truly were: ourselves.
Blended into the fun and excitement, we were authentic and thus we were epic.
Always choose to be epic.
Watch the amazing recap video by InkRefinery here or below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGiCceCA5sY
Kevin Hawkins is UX designer with a passion for pixel-perfect graphics, clean code, OREOs, and track days (vroom vroom). Always available for freelance work, startup advisory, or a simple chat.
