5 Qualities That Make Me A Great Entrepreneur, But Horrible At Dating.
I believe the best and easiest way to adopt new habits, is to first gradually implement them in your everyday life. This way they become automatic, there when you need, without giving it a second thought.
A downside is that some of those qualities, which make you great at your job, might not be really practical for other parts of your life.
Here are 5 traits which help me being an entrepreneur, but make dating much more complicated.
I follow up.
The first one is really basic, if you want something, it is up to you to make it happen. People have busy lives so even if they are willing to help you, doesn’t matter how excited, they get distracted and forget. It is your task to follow up. If you have to call back 28 times to get the right person on the phone, that’s what will you do. If they tell you to check back in next week, it is the first thing you do Monday 9am.
Women don’t really like to say no, instead they will go for ‘I would love to , but I already have plans this weekend’ or ‘Let me think about it’. While your mission might just be to hang out, it can create a stand off where they really don’t want to say no and you keep following up meticulously.
Awkward..
I get stuff in writing.
I do a lot of meetings in person and over the phone. This can be very efficient, but it is also important to have everything in writing, so nothing is ambiguous. When in doubt both parties always have something to fallback on.
I heard some rumors, that there is a way of reading between the lines. We have to be realistic though, whether it means ‘I do like you a lot’ or ‘Please go away’ , I’m just a guy and 9 out of 10 I will totally miss those signals. So the only thing for me to do is fallback on everything in writing or said literary.
Awkward..
I live outside my comfort zone.
When ambitious you are constantly operating outside your comfort zone. There is an easy way to arm you for this, just put yourself & your friends in very awkward situations on a regular basis. So when it really matters, it still is uncomfortable, but you don’t freeze anymore and keep functioning. Over the years my tolerance for awkward got very high.
Either it is just me not noticing we left the comfort zone or me purposely putting ourselves out there. Things might get a bit uncomfortable on a date. For me an akward silent moment only starts after about 15 min. Everything shorter, fair game. ‘Oh so you are jewish. Really not cool they are killing all those people in Palestine, right?’
Awkward..
I make stuff happen.
I believe in prioritizing. Even if you have a crazy long to do list, there is only one thing you really should be doing right now. Figure out what has top priority, and start doing it now. Not tomorrow nor next week. Now.
When I meet someone who looks great to hang out with they get priority over my other hobbies. In case they are down to hang out those conversation are like : ‘What about right now? No? So maybe tomorrow? Damn. What about the day after?’. Turns out being too excited doesn’t help you, and even scares some girls.
Awkward..
I go all in.
The rate you make progress is directly correlated on how fast you can make decisions. When every decisions takes you days or even weeks you lose all the momentum, and miss opportunities. So just get on with it, make a decision already even flip a coin if you have to, and then just commit for 100%.
When I meet somebody new it takes me about 5 minutes to decide how much I like you, especially if I like you a lot. So when she is still at ‘How do you pronounce your name again?’, I’m already at ‘Let me introduce you to all my friends and then run away together.’
Awkward..
I don’t do meetings.
There is nothing less productive then sitting in a room with 10 people, trying to make decisions or coming up with a plan. Even if every single person in the room is exceptionally smart, bright and talented you are most likely wasting everybody’s time. That’s why I prefer one-on-one meetings, or with three people at most.
Same goes for dating. It is cool that you are going to this fun event, with all your friends. I hope you have a great time, but no I won’t join you. Even if I’m dying to meet you I will pass. If you really want to get to know somebody it’s way better and more fun to do it one-on-one.
Awkward..
My takeaway.
- If you aim high you need to be willing to fundamentally change. Not just how you act at work but your approach to life.
- If you think that is just the way you are and you can’t do anything about. You are wrong. Try harder.
- Girls are weird.
Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, would mean the world to me if you shared it with someone. :)
