I left my startup few months ago after some conflicts with my co-founders. The tipping point was when I decided to write about our last conflict on my blog, which contributed to making the conflict grow bigger. the result was that I got forced by the board of directors to leave my startup after spending 3 years building it.
As hard as that experience was, I don’t blame anyone but myself for not taking care of my own psychology. Being a founder trying to build a business out of nothing is not a simple job. You want to build a great company and be successful, but you have to face an infinite number of challenges everyday. All that pressure puts up and it starts to affect your body and thinking.
Pressure
A simple way to release some of that pressure is to talk regularly with someone about your biggest problems. I used to do that always except for that week when I wrote the blog post that made things go worse with my co-founders. Simply, the friend I used to talk to about my problems was on a trip to another country, and I had no one to talk with to release some of the pressure, so I started to overthink the problems and after few days decided in a crazy way to write a blog post about that conflict.
I’m currently working on my second startup, I’m doing most of the thinking and planning on my own as my new co-founder isn’t working full time on the startup yet. During a single day, I would go many times from sad, to happy, to feeling like a loser, to feeling smart, then back to sad again, and again .. the friend I’m used to talk with is on a trip to another country.
This made me remember an interesting thing I experienced during my last visit to USA. I was participating in a one month program about business innovation. The program was designed and executed by EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). That thing is called Forums.
Forums
Forums are what I can describe as a kind of group therapy + professional advice. At EO, they assign each member (entrepreneur with a company making $1+ million/year) to a Forum Group.
A Forum Group would usually consist of about 6 entrepreneurs (as I remember). Each group do closed meetings regularly or when one of the group members ask for a forum meeting.
EO has strict policy about Forums, whatever is said during a Forum meeting can’t get discussed again with anyone else, even with other EO members. this allows each one of the Forum Group members to talk freely during the Forum meetings.
During Forum meetings, members can discuss any problems, work problems, or even personal problems, and the other members have to contribute with advice from their personal experience.
Facing problems managing your sales team? Can’t figure out how to increase your company’s revenue? Having a conflict with your co-founders or investors? In a conflict with your life partner? .. Whatever is the problem, you can discuss it during the Forum meeting.
During the program, they made us participate in 2 forum meetings. We were 27 entrepreneurs from 27 different countries participating in that program. They split us into small groups and invited an experienced EO member to lead each group’s Forum meeting.
When we started the first Forum meeting, most of us didn’t feel comfortable about it, and I was extremely shy. I wasn’t expecting to be forced to be in a closed meeting with 6 more people that I just met few days ago, and I’ve to answer questions about my life, work, family, and discuss any problems I’m facing.
How it works
Before the start of the meeting, they gave us printed forms to fill, to help us organize our thoughts and get ready to discuss what we wrote on the paper during the Forum meeting. I freaked out and wrote nothing in the paper and decided to say nothing during the meeting.
When the meeting started, the EO member started to ask us one by one about the answers we wrote in the paper they gave us earlier, luckily I was the last one to get asked, and by that time I was ready to talk openly about my life, work, and family. I saw all others get over their fear and talk about their problems, so I had to do the same, even the EO member talked openly about what she wrote in the paper.
By the end of the meeting I started to feel relieved. I talked about a couple of the biggest problems I’m facing, and listened to others talk about their problems too. I started to feel more comfortable talking to those guys more than anyone else.
Today I remembered all that and thought to myself, why don’t we have something like that in my city?! I’ve my friend who I talk to, but he isn’t always available, and he is not an entrepreneur, so he can’t help me by anything more than listening.
So that’s why I’m writing this blog post. I want to find people who are interested in making a Forum group in my city. I know that most people will freak out like I did the first time I got introduced to Forum meetings, but it’s worth trying to spread the idea.
If you’re in USA or Europe, most probably you have an EO Chapter in your city. try to connect with your country’s/city’s EO chapter and ask about how to join them. If you don’t have an EO Chapter near you, or if you don’t meet the requirements of being an EO member yet, try to make your own Forum group. I’m sure this will have an amazing effect on your life, personally and professionally.
If you make your own group, or join EO, just send me a mention on twitter (@shreef), I will be happy to know about your experience.
Surviving as an entrepreneur isn’t an easy task. You have to take care of your psychology first, then your team’s psychology, then the details of your business. If you ignore any of that, you won’t be able to handle the consequences.
Thanks to Brett Martin for reviewing this post.
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