Just One Chance
This is a story about my journey to becoming an engineer.
I’m still a bit off from getting there, but this summer I will be working with Behance as a backend engineer intern. My path getting to this role was about as non-linear as paths get.
At the time of applying for internships last summer, I only had one semester of computer science experience.
First off, I am currently a junior studying Computer Science at Rutgers University. Freshman year, I studied Cellular Biology and Neuroscience hoping to pursue medical school. Sophomore year, I took my first intro to CS class. Crunch some numbers, carry the 1, and yeah… I currently only have a little over one full academic year of computer science experience under my belt right now.
I have a type A personality.
Being idle for one summer would have bored me out of my mind. Comparing myself to the progress of my peers as well as the progress of those much younger, I was terrified that I would not have enough job experience to be successful after college.
Cue the cold email storm of Winter 2013. I probably sent out… 100+ emails to dev evangelists and recruiters?
(It was an awkward time to find an internship because I was too old for the freshman intern programs and knew about the sophomore intern programs too late.)
Surprisingly, quite a few actually got back to me, and let me interview with them. However, what followed was… embarrassing to say the least.
I tanked all of my interviews.
When I say tanked, I am not exaggerating. Looking back, they were pretty basic interview questions, and my answers (if I had one) were just horrendous.
Scene set: HackRU Spring 2014. I was one of the main organizers and had been coordinating with the title sponsor. After the hackathon ended, the company gave me a call.
“Amy, would you like to work with us?”
They were impressed with the hackathon, and it served as my “foot in the door.” You can be surprised where opportunity presents itself. My offered role was essentially a marketing intern. Some may scoff that I couldn’t even get a dev position. But hey, I’ll take what I can get.
I was given A LOT of freedom. I made friends with the dev interns and PMs. Eventually, I sat in on some of their daily morning meetings.
One of the interns, to whom I am very grateful, took me under his wing and started showing me what he was doing. He taught me about design patterns among other miscellaneous things that I picked up from learning through example. Soon enough, I asked if I could contribute to the code base.
It was rough.
I felt so incompetent, made a lot of mistakes, and had to make quite a few adjustments on project time estimations. (I missed a deadline by an entire week.) However, I was careful to not let that affect me asking questions. In my mind, I was going to juice this rare opportunity for all that it was worth.
Time went on. I learned on the job. I worked early and stayed late (once I stayed at the office until 2am and came in the next morning at 7am). I forced myself to appear certain of myself. And, when the time came, I asserted that I wanted to switch departments from marketing to development.
HUZZAH! SUCCESS!
I got the position as a Software Engineer Intern. I ended up working with a killer team that supported me through my introduction into the professional world.
Fast forward January 2015.
So this is the part that completely blows my mind.
Sometime over winter break, I posted a code sample of a PHP wrapper I wrote for the NYTimes API in the Rutgers Hackathon Club Facebook group to be critiqued.
An employee from Behance saw my code and messaged me on Facebook if I was interested in working there. I said sure and started the interview process.
Last year, I applied to 100+ companies. This year I applied to 2.
I realize that this probably would not seem too big of a deal for most people, but for me, landing this job is a moment I want to remember. In a little over a year, the self-doubt, and constant comparisons with other people’s progress translated into a burning need to prove myself.
Through all of this, I realized that:
All you need is one chance.
The next question is, so why am I telling you about all this?
This past weekend, I went to a woman’s tech conference called WeCode organized by the Harvard’s Women in Computer Science organization. There, I listened to a slew of accomplished women giving talks including:
- Marie-Louise Kirk — Goldman Sachs (Head of the client-facing engineers for Sales & Trading Americas)
- Dona Sarkar — Microsoft (Engineering manager, author, and fashion designer)
- Pariza Tabriz — Google (self appointed “Security Princess”)
All of them, shared at least one experience in which they have faced failure or felt unqualified. I mean… when Google’s friggen security princess tells you that even she’s felt unqualified? Jeez. It definitely lends itself to allowing you to believe in yourself too.
We all start somewhere.
I’m not an established industry professional… YET. Also, in the big scheme of things, my summer internship is not actually that big of a deal. But, if by sharing my story about my tiny beginnings means that it can empower other people to believe in themselves too? Sure. I’ll write about my experiences until my fingers fall off.
Now more than ever, it is incredibly important for us to share stories about our journey and any hurdles we have overcome in the process. There is such a high demand for competent engineers. The funny paradox is, many of the completely qualified ones do not feel like they are. Even if you’re a high school student, write. Share and humanize the experience.
To my future employers who may be reading this. Look. I can’t promise that I will have the answer. But I can promise that I have grit and am resourceful enough to find it. And if I can’t find it, I can promise that I’ll give the stupid answer a run for its money.
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