What Revives Me
Once
in Honduras
as I rode a bus
late afternoon sun setting
a deep orange making
profound shadows of the trees
The bus passed trees spaced along a river
sun glowed on the water
I thought of you
us
sitting on the bank of the river
later walking amongst the trees
sun warming our skin
your smile warming my heart
Then it was shattered by the thought we will never share this
I write it to you in hopes of it being recreated in your mind
but we will never share this
Expectations kill us
Little deaths throughout the day
We resuscitate the past thinking
if we keep alive our expectations
they will save us
They never do
They slowly destroy what we currently have
Life doesn’t sinks us
our expectations do
images in our mind of desires out of reach
My heart will always be filled
with the profound feeling of you
but I say this knowing I will never see you again
I will never hold you again
Saying this is a series of little deaths for me
What revives me each time
is the memory of your smile
memories of the moments we shared
I still long for and thus suffer for the past
but you
always being present in my heart
saves me.
