3 Cognitive Distortions in Pregnancy
Pregnancy is difficult enough as it is, let’s not make it harder.
Pregnancy is a life altering experience, bringing with it physical changes as well as mental ones. During each of my pregnancies, I often found my focus drawn to concerns about whether I was doing enough for my own and the developing baby’s health. I had a strong sense of responsibility and desire to do my best for my family. At the same time, these concerns sometimes took me down the rabbit hole of Google searches and anxiety.
In times of worry, we tend to take mental shortcuts and these shortcuts often have a negative bias, otherwise known as cognitive distortions. As a therapist, I want us to be aware of these biases so that we may avoid a downward emotional spiral.
These are some mental shortcuts to be aware of:
- Magnification or catastrophic thinking refers to the overestimation of the significance of an event. A friend once bought me a sandwich while I was pregnant, and in my hunger, I happily dug in without checking the ingredients. I was halfway done with the sandwich before I realized there was deli meat in it. Oh Crap — almost every pregnant person has been warned of the risks of consuming deli meat while pregnant. I waited in agonizing suspense the next several days because Google told me that listeria symptoms may not appear immediately.
Yet, I have had deli meat numerous times in my life and never had I gotten sick from it. Also, though it is a serious illness, the World Health Organization states that the disease is “relatively rare”. The amount of time I spent worrying was disproportionate to the actual chance of me getting sick. Yes, dietary caution is necessary during pregnancy. At the same time, focusing on the worst case scenario after one accidental mistake caused me unhealthy stress and anxiety.
- “Should” statements represent a set of rigid rules that when broken, leads to judgment of our own behavior. There’s no shortage of “rules” in pregnancy. Pregnant women shouldn’t eat spicy food. Pregnant women should limit physical activity. etc. However, if we took a closer look at these supposed rules, we will find that many of them are arbitrary. For example, there was no way I could limit my physical activity during my second pregnancy when I had another toddler running around. There are some definite health guidelines (e.g. avoiding certain legitimately risky foods) and medical restrictions depending on one’s health. But generally, each individual’s pregnancy needs are different and needs to be managed differently. A sense of flexibility in how we seek out wellness is important. Should statements can be limiting, contributing to judgment and guilt. And if there are any rules to follow, let’s defer to our health care providers as opposed to social media or pop culture.
- Disqualifying the positive refers to a dismissal of positive experiences. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during one of my pregnancies. I was dismayed to find out that I’d need to conduct finger pricks several times a day, change my diet, and enforce physical activity, not to mention the myriad risks associated if I didn’t attempt to manage all of those things. Saying that period was “hard” was an understatement. There were still pleasant events that occurred during pregnancy, but each time it was time for a finger prick, I felt my mood come crashing down. Several times a day, I was reminded of all the foods that I couldn’t eat (that I very very much craved) and again of the potential risks of things going awry with baby’s development. I get why some of us disqualify the positive. Sometimes, it feels like everything else pales in comparison to the reality of a negative experience.
However, several weeks after the diagnosis, I became accustomed to the finger pricks. The initial upset was no longer as sharp. I found that I was better able to broaden my focus to appreciate positive things. For example, I was glad that the gestational diabetes was diagnosed and that I could address it without negative consequences for my infant. I also found acceptable alternative foods for my cravings. Part of the ability to appreciate the positive comes from the passage of time after the initial negative event. Negative feelings need not be permanent.
Awareness and acknowledgment are the beginning of change. If you’re based in California, I’d love to walk with you in your journey to becoming a parent.
For more information on addressing cognitive distortions, these websites may be helpful:
I encourage anyone struggling with the trials, triumphs, and changes that emerge with early parenthood to seek consultation with a professional.
Resources for perinatal and postpartum depression:
Paternal depression and anxiety are real too. Resources for fathers:
This essay is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment specific to you. Seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with questions regarding your own condition. Do not disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read here.
