Do Facades Make Us More Confident People?
I’ve been going to group therapy for anxiety since the beginning of January 2023, and during the second session, one guy (Let’s call him Stan.) said that he dressed up as Santa Claus during the Christmas season because his last wife insisted he do that even after she died. He said dressing up as Santa made him more confident because, when he was Santa, he wasn’t concerned about his own anxiety. His first priority as Santa was making the children he saw happy because that was what Santa did.
When he said that, I wondered to myself if facades made us different, more confident people. I brought that up during that same group therapy session, and one of the therapists there (Let’s call her Amy.) said that it was a possibility.
For example, when Stan dressed up as Santa, he was happier and more confident. He wasn’t thinking about all the bad things that had happened to him because Santa couldn’t think about those things. He had to make sure the kids were happy.
My therapist Amy’s kind of like this, too. During the group therapy session, she even admitted that she deals with anxiety. Now, I knew that some therapists had experiences with mental health issues, but I never would’ve known that about Amy had she not said that. I guess when she’s a therapist, she’s more concerned about helping others like me to worry about her own problems.
In a way, I’m also kind of like this. I try to be as honest as possible here, but even I hide some things about myself. When I’m writing articles (whether here or for my job), I come off as a more confident person with all this worldly knowledge. In real life, though, I’m quite anxious someone will call me out because I might not know what I’m talking about.
I guess when we’re in these facades, we’re not always 100% honest with ourselves or with others. However, when we use the facades we’ve made up for different situations, I often wonder if those facades eventually become parts of our core personalities.
Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Practice makes perfect.”? It’s a saying for a reason. If you practice a desired trait in a repeated pattern, you’re more likely to improve on yourself, eventually perfecting it. I think it might be the same way with putting on a façade. If we put on a more confident façade, then we’re more likely to be confident ourselves. That confidence, in turn, becomes a part of our core personality.
For example, I used to not be able to order my own food until my grandmother made me say it to cashiers and waiters. It was a little nerve-wracking at first, but I grew more confident as I did it over and over. Now, I can order my food without freezing up. So, maybe if I practice more social interactions, I might become more social and have that become a tiny part of my core personality.
It’s going to take some time to perfect the façade, but over time, I can grow and see what I’m doing right and change or improve on what I’m doing wrong. Whether I’m being myself in real life or whether I’m Eccentric Emmie on medium.com, perhaps parts of the two facades will combine over time and turn into one bigger part of my core personality. Maybe the same thing can be said for Stan or Amy or everyone else. Maybe the same thing can even be said for you.
I think we all have facades we use for different people and situations, but over time, parts of those facades can combine and become a part of our core personalities. Then, when those parts combine with our core personalities, we end up becoming more confident people overall. And when we’re confident in ourselves, we become better people overall. At least…that’s what I think.
