A BernieBro Weighs In On Your Kid’s Little Free Library

Because he’s got some time, and your child can do better.

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Hey Green House kid, your neighbor Derek here. Love that you’re into the whole Little Free Library movement — share knowledge, disseminate information, all that. I stopped by to contribute a lift-the-flap book I wrote, Learn to Count With Eugene V. Debs. But I gotta tell you, I was disappointed when I saw what company my work is keeping. You’ve got some subversive stories in there, my dude, and even some straight-up propaganda. I’m sure you included these titles out of ignorance. I’m happy to enlighten you.

Here are some books you should dump:

Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type: Sleight of hand corporatist brainwashing. This book pretends to champion workers’ rights, but the cows and chickens end their milk and egg strike for dumb electric blankets. They give NO THOUGHT to what future cows and chickens are going to need. The ducks are no better, selling out for a diving board. Disappointing.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear: Green frog. Purple cat. Blue horse? My dude, could we PLEASE stop “othering” and just see bears, frogs, and horses?

Curious George Goes to the Hospital: We’re supposed to believe that George swallows a puzzle piece, gets to see the doctor right…