I Hope My Kid Fails

Or ‘The Failure Mitigation Framework’

I have an 18 month old son, Holden. When I think about what I want for his future, I don’t just think about his soccer trophies, straight-A’s, or his acceptance to Princeton. I think about all of the times he’s going to fail, and how much stronger a person that’s going to make him. I hope he fails. And fails again. And then succeeds.

As a kid I spent a lot of time skateboarding. I was never very good, so I spent a lot of time falling. But even professional skateboarders spend lots of time not succeeding. They fall, stumble, and land a small fraction of the tricks they try.

The funny thing about their failure is that it’s embraced by other skaters. When you fall attempting a trick, other skaters don’t laugh. They understand that failing is part of the process of ultimately succeeding.

I was really encouraged by this blog post by Moot about the failure of DrawQuest. It’s a shame that the project didn’t work out, but his candor shows how willing he is to own his failures. This attitude, which is particularly pervasive in SF, NYC, and other startup communities, is what encourages entrepreneurs to attempt things that are likely to fail.

Scott Adams talks at length about his failures in How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big. He views a failure as evidence that you’re getting closer to success. This attitude is critical for those of us trying to craft the life we want.

Jeff Bezos famously talks about his Regret Minimization Framework. I like to think about a “Failure Mitigation Framework.” Note that mitigation means to “lessen the severity of”, not to avoid entirely. When considering an endeavor, consider the following:

• If there is no chance of failure, there’s likely no chance of success.
• If you’re going to do something, do it better than anyone else. If you fail, there will be no doubt that it was due to a lack of effort.
• Ask for help. Few important accomplishments are made solo. The more people you get on your team, the more people there are that don’t want to see you fail.

When building Gamma Basics, I made sure to spend just as much time talking to customers and strategic partners as I spent building our products. The network I built during that process ensured that, even if Gamma Basics failed, I’d have no problem getting a job with one of those companies we worked with.

It sounds corny, but it’s true. Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid of not trying.