Survive vs. Flourish

Realizing that just surviving isn’t enough.

For the last year and a half, as I have navigated the inspiring and draining industry of the “startup,” there has been a constant battle in my brain. The struggle is nothing new to anyone involved in a demanding field, and yet it’s something we all seem to be struggling with — work-life balance.

I recently read this short little note from Sarah J. Bray to herself in her Hello, Month initiative:

Dear Me,

For a plant to survive, any old soil will do. But for a plant to flourish, the soil must be dense with nutrients particular to its needs.

You have what you need to survive, but are you giving yourself what you need to flourish? Studies show that happy people, like happy plants, are the most productive. What do you need to feel peaceful, rested, and happy? Write down five things. Give yourself one of them today.

Love,
the You who is ready to flourish

I read this note three times through. Then repeated that second sentence a few more times:

You have what you need to survive, but are you giving yourself what you need to flourish?

Like so many of us, I battle with anxiety more than I would like to admit. Stress gets to me fast and breaks me down even faster. It doesn’t help that I have trouble saying “no”. From new projects, to freelance, to pro-bono work—you name it—I say “yes” to just about everything. And I’ll tell you why. I’m afraid of missing out on something amazing. I‘ll also admit that I love adding another notch on my belt of accomplishments.

However, if I look back on all of these amazing opportunities that I just couldn’t say “no” to, the obvious pattern is one of overcommitment. The opportunities that could have been amazing ended up being just good enough. The list of books I want to read, classes I want to take, and new things I want to learn continues to grow, without much progress on actually doing them.

I have successfully set myself up to survive, but I want more than that. I want to flourish.

With that said, here are the top five (okay, six because I couldn’t decide) things on my list I need in order to feel peace, rest, and happiness:

1. Cook and eat healthy food 4 nights a week
2. Go to yoga class at least once a week
3. Start a new book (and finish it within a reasonable amount of time)
4. Ride my bike everyday
5. Continue to improve my coding skills
6. Get my hands dirty (do something creative off the computer)

This list is what needs to be my priority. This list represents what I want. This list will help me flourish and most importantly, be happy. And to get there, I’m going to have to say “yes” to doing one of these things every day, and that means I’m also going to have to get way more comfortable with saying “no” to some of the shiny things that cross my path.