A step we can all take towards gender equality — banish these two words
The lead up to Christmas created excuses to catch up with friends and family to celebrate the year. One lunch at my favourite cafe with a group of fabulous women in business was completely spoilt for me by the waiter (a young man) calling us “guys” in every sentence. I asked him very nicely not to address this group of wonderful women out for a celebratory lunch as “guys”, but he couldn’t stop and stuck with “guys”.
You are welcome to be thinking I am just being sensitive, everyone uses “guys” so I should just get over it. I hear you and take the point — so give me a few minutes to make my case.
In a world where gender equality sits alongside massively entrenched issues of diversity and inclusion we need to be proactive and challenge ourselves to take as many steps — large and small — as possible to change this dynamic.
Within our communities and workplaces language sits equally alongside action towards effecting positive change. Banishing these two words is an accessible change, easy to adopt and removes a male normative bias from our language.
Guys and Mate
I am the first to acknowledge nobody uses these terms with any ill will intentions, they are engrained in our psyche so roll off the tongue with ease. These two words are used by men and women alike in schools, communities, workplaces and cafe’s to place a generic label on men and women, or anonymise an individual. Both stem from male derivatives and as such make an immediate subconscious statement marginalising the women in the room.
Lets start with “Guys”. I have been a “guys” offender in the past, the use of the term is so common and considered to have ubiquitous meaning. You are probably reading this post and wondering what the harm is if women also use the term guys to address a mixed gender group, right? In 2016 I attended a screening of Code: Debugging the Gender Gap where a male panelist not only brought the room to tears with his stories of alienation and support for women in the workplace, he highlighted the subtleties of language and the depth of impact this can have.
Reality is “guys” stems from a generalised term to describe a group of men, in the same era guys emerged into common language it was paired with “gals” which as we know has virtually disappeared. With the origin of the word in mind we must consider continued use of the word “guys” as death-by-a-thousand-cuts, it’s one of the many, many male normative terms that have crept into our language subtly reinforcing men in a dominant position.
We also need to remember that the word “guys” is still used to refer to just men as well e.g.: “We need to hire more guys into nursing”, or (one all of the men in my life use) “I am off for a beer / round of golf with the guys” specifically to describe men.
The Diversity Council of Australia waded into the “guys” debate with an argument based on value and inclusiveness, this explanation is from CEO Lisa Annese speaking to news.com.au:
“We’re not telling people what to say, we’re encouraging people to think about the words they use at work so everyone feels respected, valued and included. We know from research that when more inclusive language is used at work, people are greater engaged and more proactive.”
There is no malice in using the term “guys”, it’s not designed as a derogatory term towards women it is merely perpetuating a male dominance that balanced inclusive workplaces should discourage. Like the generic terms “man” and “men” occasionally used in research and media to mean all people – lets replace “guys” with really neutral terms like team, colleagues, folks, y’all (if you are into slang) or be more specific with ladies and gentlemen, men and women, wonderful women and marvellous men (Ok you can address a group of men as “guys”).
Then there’s “Mate”. Men across New Zealand and Australia refer to their friends as “mate”, the term has also crept into business life as we become more informal and is now used in the workplace frequently. The origin of the term is thought to have come from wartime, where the term mate originally stems from Middle Low German māt(e ) ‘comrade’, of West Germanic origin; related to meat (the underlying concept being that of eating together).
The word mate is now both a greeting and generic form to generically label another person “gidday mate” just “mate” for instance as two men pass each other in a corridor. Considering the wartime origin and the usual application of “mate” employed as a male label it is simply not cool to refer to a woman as mate. We have names. If you have forgotten a name there are other tactics you can employ that won’t apply a male bias to your greeting.
Making this change is hard, the first step is to become conscious of our own language — I really hope you have read my argument and can work towards refactoring your own language, even sharing this line of thought with your colleagues.
This article is based on a blog I wrote on optimalhq.com
Victoria is passionate about many things — growing great companies, raising digital literacy, growing New Zealands economy and equality for women. Her day jobs include Managing Director of data and information specialists OptimalBI, investor in start ups and numerous mentoring, advisory and board appointments. Victoria’s community contributions include co-Chair of NZRise, Chair of the Digital Skills Forum, and Chair of Code Club Aotearoa.
You can learn more about Victoria here.