A Dark Truth About Confidence I See No One Talking About
You can’t just “be” confident
Contrary to what most believe, you can’t just “be” confident — no more than you can magically wake up one fine morning as a bestselling writer or world-class footballer.
Telling someone to just be confident is as helpful as telling a cripple to run.
It’s something you become — with time and effort. My metamorphosis from a wimpy stuttering guy that would wet his pants spelling out his own name to someone that can converse with pretty much any stranger didn’t happen overnight.
It took years. Years of harsh mistakes, terrible experiences, epiphanies, and self-improvement. And that’s exactly how it should be.
False Confidence Is Worse than No Confidence
Sure, you can delude yourself into being “confident” — but this “confidence” balloon bursts apart at the slightest pinprick, be it a jabbing remark or a tiny failure.
True confidence is anti-fragile—a fortress that reinforces its defenses after every battering attack of rejections, harsh remarks, or failures. As Nassim Taleb explains,
“Anti-fragility is beyond resilience or…
