How I Overcame the Rigidity of My Mind and the Toxicity of the Nutrition Profession
My addiction recovery began in 2006 and marked a period of rapid expansion in my life. A whole new world came into view. My awakening followed a predictable pattern where, years later, my consciousness began to contract — I developed fixed ideas about how recovery should look for other people. About six years ago, I entered a cul-de-sac in my spiritual path when other groups approached recovery in a way that bothered me. I mostly enjoyed the tunes of my brand of recovery and surrounded myself with others who sang the same songs. It was an ego trap that I’m grateful to have survived.
I have seen similar cul-de-sacs, traps, and dead ends in the nutrition profession. I’m writing this because many of my colleagues don’t see the traps, and I want to identify them carefully. The eating disorder field has become a battlefield of anger, fixed ideas, and “cancel culture” activities. Advocacy seems to supersede evidence, and group dynamics override everything. Like my own recovery story, social justice movements for food and body freedom started as liberating and expansive but eventually became rigid and contractive. I guess it happens to the best of us🤷🏻♂️
I have since learned in-group vs. out-group dynamics represent survival mechanisms that can be traced throughout history and across species. Such group dynamics are particularly pronounced for those of us with histories of adversity who seek paths that require traveling with others. It turns out there are many roads to recovery from substance use disorders, eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and depression. The map constantly evolves, but the treasure usually shows up when sharing maps with others. Getting stuck on one version of the map prevents us from experiencing the ultimate treasure: an open mind and heart.
In recent years, my consciousness has expanded again, most likely because my nervous system detects new levels of safety, even amidst our precarious times. What follows is a deep dive into the nuances of rigidity and fluidity in the context of my personal and professional journey. I had to be rigid to get free from addiction, but I didn’t get free to spend the rest of my life being rigid. Let’s go…
The Dialectics of Cognitive Rigidity
Rigidity is defined by stiffness, inflexibility, or unyieldingness. In the context of mental health, it’s generally not regarded favorably. Rigidity can be a strong social repellant and usually doesn’t fare well in interpersonal relations. Cognitive rigidity can be conceptualized as a trauma response as well as a risk factor for the development of post-traumatic stress disorder.
Meanwhile, in a military context, rigidity can be a celebrated attribute, often conflated with willpower and determination. Rigid attributes align with popular concepts of “personal responsibility” and can be seen as assets in a society filled with temptations and a culture that rewards mental discipline and increased productivity. Thus, some forms of cognitive rigidity can be conceptualized as resilience resources but are not always synonymous with purpose, persistence, tenacity, endurance, and devotion.
A rigid mindset can be helpful at times to get ahead or to catch up, and in some instances, it can be critical for survival. It was a rigid structure that allowed me to stop consuming alcohol nearly two decades ago when I was only 24. Furthermore, within a few years, a military mindset (“do or do not, there is no try”) catapulted me into incredible physical and mental health. Cognitive rigidity saved my life, and I understand why it appeals to people.
My rigid ways had me fixated on deadlines to stay the course and compensate for the time I squandered during my late teens and early 20s. Something has since shifted — I’m proud to say that I started writing this after missing a self-imposed deadline to submit a manuscript to a peer-reviewed journal. I said to myself, “It can wait. I don’t need to catch up, and I don’t need to get ahead.” I spent the last 17 years subscribing to that narrative, which has historically been helpful but less so more recently. I embrace my growth and evolution.
Much of Mental Suffering Comes from How Tightly we Hold our Beliefs
Can we reduce rigidity while honoring it at the same time? Yes, many call it recovery — the ever-evolving ongoing process. What if some parts of my rigid mind are better off staying that way? Can we honor those rigid parts (but not blindly obey them) and simultaneously embrace the signals that come from other parts of the brain and body? It’s OK to construct a cage as long the door is open, and you can come and go as you please🙌🏽
For me, becoming cognitively flexible took over a decade of healing work. It must have taken considerable time for certain neural structures to loosen, and it’s only just begun. A transition from bodybuilding to yoga ten years ago definitely helped me, but I would be lying if I told you I didn’t miss my “disciplined” days occasionally. Perhaps the change didn’t happen by me but rather happened to me✨
I don’t think my deep transformation to open-mindedness would have occurred without my doctoral training at UCLA in the Community Health Sciences Department (Fielding School of Public Health), the additional coursework in epidemiology, and the Health Psychology minor. I spent five years reading and writing papers, studying how different scholars think, what theories were used to generate hypotheses, what underlying assumptions were present, and what biases might exist in analysis and conclusions. Analyzing data from multiple perspectives can do wonders for an inquisitive mind. The learning continues👨🏻💻
You don’t need an academic doctorate to become less rigid. One of the things I learned along the way was that some of the most accomplished scientists in the world are the most stuck in their ways. Maybe that’s how they got there. Notwithstanding, I was surprised to learn that some academics, who are supposed to have the most open minds, are some of the most closed off!
Thus, actual depth is not just about exploring the boundaries of thought but also about exploring other sources of embodied wisdom. Yoga teaches us that🧘🏽♀️
And I had a daughter, and we have another girl on the way. Children can do wonders for disrupting rigidity and accessing the fluidity of the heart space🥰
And I saw what bipartisan politics did to the community. I saw how fear creates rigidity at the population level, compromises the human heart, and limits consciousness.
Finally, I have spent the last eleven years working one-on-one with people with a wide range of eating issues, and during this time, I witnessed the unfortunate division and shrinking that happened within the eating disorder treatment community❤️🩹
We are Often Drawn to What We Lack
I was deeply conflicted without many boundaries in my early 20s and eventually got into substantial trouble. Rigidity filled many gaps that existed when I began searching for solutions. Rigidity with abstinence-based alcohol recovery offered an opportunity for profound change — a chance to go “all in” to unchartered territory and discover its plentiful promises.
In retrospect, I was drawn to rigidity because I perceived myself as lacking many characteristics associated with so-called “greatness”: discipline, determination, consistency, and commitment. I had broken many contracts with myself, questioning whether I had these traits. Rigid characteristics are also heritable; my father can be rigid but is also quite accomplished. His heartfelt lecture about personal responsibility at my first rehab was very reasonable.
People who don’t take addiction recovery seriously usually don’t get better. People with my neurochemistry usually can’t live an abundant life without having abundant rigidity on board. The next logical step was a structured approach to health. I channeled my rigidity to get as “healthy” as possible and reverse some of the damage done by alcohol and drugs, which is not an uncommon (or unreasonable) behavioral response for individuals in recovery. My anxiety practically disappeared from a daily dedication to nutritious food, supplements, water, exercise, sunlight, and sleep. My angst does come back when I don’t take good care of myself🫣
I was drawn to the military-minded approach to health and fitness, which built tremendous self-efficacy during those early transitional years. My first job in this new chapter was as a personal trainer; I started reading fitness magazines documenting the dedication and effort required to achieve the glorious version of health that others would notice. It appeared to be the socially acceptable approach to pursuing health for men. Eventually, I found my way out of that mindset, not necessarily through virtue but from the inevitable realities of injuries and aging.
Though most of it no longer appeals to me, I may always be somewhat drawn to structure and rigidity. It saved my life. In my clinical practice, I understand why over-ordered approaches to eating and health appeal to so many people: we live in a food environment that prioritizes private profits ahead of public health. It ain’t safe out there, and safety always comes first.
Cognitive Rigidity is a Form of Safety-Seeking
Some of my cognitive rigidity is a battle scar from nearly losing my life and eventually finding peace. Letting it go completely feels too risky. It means questioning some assumptions that created the boundaries that saved my life. Without the walls, the whole house might crumble. It’s scary without them. Meanwhile, the same structures that kept me safe and contained also limited me. This is not to say that limits and containers aren’t necessary. We need containers — think of the mess in your kitchen if we didn’t have them.
In my deepest yearnings, I don’t want the limits, containers, or walls. In everyday life, I need some of them. Can I move through my everyday life as if I’m in my deepest moments when I don’t need boundaries? It sounds good in theory but presents ongoing challenges in practice. Because of my personal history of cognitive rigidity, I understand it well and can detect it easily.
My Career as a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist
I’m contained and constrained by my title of registered dietitian nutritionist. My credentials and oversight agency let me know what the boundaries are. The social construction of a registered dietitian nutritionist lets me know my place in the healthcare hierarchy, and my colleagues are sometimes nearby to remind me. While it makes sense to accept it, it is also wise to question it🤔
Rigid approaches to health are generally frowned upon in the eating disorder professional community. Cognitive rigidity is one of the common distortions that mental health professionals aim to treat. Let’s unpack…
There is more to health than biomarkers. In practice, rigidity with health can be counterproductive for some people. I’ve known this for over a decade and helped many people see it for themselves. I no longer have any real rigidity with my health; thus, life is very different compared to years ago when I was climbing mountains and walking marathons for kicks.
Because I learned how to “go with the flow” in the food environment (i.e., eat what is being served), I am deemed acceptable by those less rigid than me (usually people who have not faced the same threat/adversity). Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that some people who take an interest in nutritional health can be perceived as “disordered” by those in the eating disorder treatment community. For example, if someone chooses not to eat cupcakes, they are “restricting” and must eat what’s on the table to be considered a “normal” eater.
Professionally, I help people assess their current continuums of rigidity and fluidity regarding food and health. It’s meaningful work moving people toward a feeling of food and body freedom, and it looks different for each person. This essence of nutritional psychology is frequently overlooked in classic dietetic models. But nutrition and mental health are slowly integrating, and it’s more than just nutrients — I’m thrilled to be a part of it🙌🏽
Cognitive Rigidity with Food Choices
In practice, many clients are unnecessarily rigid and need help deconstructing some of the unnecessary walls and “rules” they picked up along the way. For example, a person with a long history of restrained eating driven by body dissatisfaction who has developed a restrictive eating disorder and only feels comfortable eating the same twenty “safe” foods because the calorie counts are predictable. Let’s question the underlying assumptions and expand the food and mindset. Perhaps a cupcake will be helpful🧁
Others might be necessarily rigid and make choices for safety reasons, which is not necessarily pathological. For example, a person with a genetic legacy of alcoholism who developed substance use disorder and reward-based eating patterns only feels comfortable eating those same twenty “safe” foods because the dopamine response is predictable. The food choices could be the same as the dieter above, but the reason for gravitating toward them could be very different. Meanwhile, there is always room for expansion, either with the food or the mindset. Most likely, the cupcake will not be as helpful here🤔
Transcending the Rigidity in My Profession
Part of my job as a doctoral-level registered dietitian nutritionist specializing in mental health is determining what is within “reasonable” bounds for the person sitting across from me. People often consult with me to help them return from “going too far” or to start something new that is safe and will not lead to extremes. I do a lot of “reconstructive work” from previous providers who were well-intentioned but committed to a single food philosophy or not sufficiently trauma-informed.
Inevitably, I’m biased by my conceptions of “reasonable.” As a healthcare professional, I work within the system defined by necessary boundaries. But what if that which is unreasonable to me is totally within someone else’s threshold of reason? It’s my job to “reason” with them, right? No one has a monopoly on reason, and what is extreme for one person may not be extreme for the next. A structure of safety for one person can be a haven of disorder for the next.
I recognize that a rigid mind may be a requirement for some. Not necessarily a “choice” but a neurobiological requirement. It may even seem like the key to a successful life — it might be the key for some. I cannot be the judge, but I can be a witness. I can point out blind spots and offer guidance within reasonable parameters for that person sitting across from me — not for me, but for the person sitting across from me.
I’m successful in my work because I’m not rigid about my approach. I don’t believe one can do this work at the intersection of nutrition and mental health and have fixed ideas about how things “ought to be.” One must see the heterogeneity of the human condition in a social context and be willing to explore the nuances of an infinite range of possibilities🤯
I don’t know how things “ought to be,” but I have valuable experience understanding how things ought not. We don’t fit into boxes as eaters — we already know the boxes aren’t real. They were constructed by the DSM-5 or from evidence-based modalities or food philosophies deemed socially acceptable by influencers and their followers. Such boxes are susceptible to the often-unseen financial agendas of the Big Food, Big Ag, Big Pharma, and the Diet Industry😯
For some, rigidity is the only safe way through an unsafe food environment. While rigidity with food doesn’t appeal to me personally, it has in the past, and I understand the appeal. Thus, I try not to stigmatize people who want to opt out of the “system” and find their path to inner peace. For example, 14% of adults meet established criteria for ultra-processed food addiction. Many are baffled about why they lose control and engage in repeated undesired behaviors despite the negative consequences. Efforts to diet are not always the cause; often, it is a consequence. Not all loss of control stems from over-control; sometimes, it is the opposite. An open mind is critical for understanding this nuance.
The Future of Eating Disorder Treatment and Recovery
The mainstream eating disorder industrial complex is sclerotic and rigid, pressuring people and organizations to “take sides” or be ostracized. It is supposed to be a haven of cognitive fluidity and the practice of moderation, but a recent journal article described how eating disorder professionals (compared to the broader category of mental health professionals) have less ability to seek alternative solutions (a component of cognitive flexibility). So, are the professionals teaching others how to be less rigid with food being more rigid with their frameworks? It must be a systems-level trauma response that requires systems-level repair. I’m telling my story with sincere hope for repair🙋🏻♂️
Cognitive flexibility in the context of eating disorders is not just about food choices — it’s also about the provision of treatment options. We must be flexible as providers because the treatment is not about us or any group’s social agenda. I’m still trying to grasp why this concept is so difficult for many providers. My best explanation is that group dynamics have made professionals feel unsafe doing nuanced work in the trenches during these polarizing times. The other explanation is that many treatment providers are biased by their personal recovery process and may still have some work to do. I can relate — I’ve been there. The work always continues✨
Since safety-seeking through group identity is rooted in evolutionary survival, no person can be blamed for needing to feel a part of a group. Marginalized groups marginalize groups. One’s out-group is another’s in-group. I’ve done too much work to get stuck in that cul-de-sac singing oldies with the gatekeepers. I want to be on the Broad Highway, listening to songs I’ve yet to hear and tuning in to my environment. And when it’s my chance to sing, my commitment is to hold back nothing🎶
I am confident that the next generation of eating disorder treatment providers will start to pose new questions. I’m seeing a path forward that integrates classical wisdom with emerging neurobiological and behavioral sciences. A path that merges food positivity with regenerative agricultural practices. The future is diversity — not just across gender and race/ethnicity, but across the treatment landscape. Progress will be stalled with the constant fight-or-flight and the lack of rest-and-digest. A starting place is to stop demanding that eating ultra-processed foods is the solution to all eating disorders and stop insisting that addictive eating does not exist. This would mean that gatekeepers would admit their models are incomplete, just like all models are. My fear is that some are too rigid and would rather spend the rest of their career defending their sandcastle. But I’m open to being surprised. I, too, was once rigid and have found my way to the other side. It’s so much nicer over here🕊️
Accessing the Heart Space
What if the key to overcoming cognitive rigidity is accessing the heart space more often? This includes more love and less judgment. I’m not suggesting I can access my heart space easily or that my mind gets quiet quickly. But I know my mind is limited and not the end-all-be-all. I know that my conceptions of reason are well-informed but not the absolute truth. I know that I am also biased by my life experience and ongoing need for safety.
Rather than trying to change people’s minds, I try to open minds and break down walls and boxes that no longer serve a purpose. Let’s look at some old ideas you have about food and your body. It may help to know where you’ve been before setting new intentions for where you are headed. For me, cognitive stability feels safer than cognitive rigidity — an excellent ongoing intention to trudge with.
I have no idea where this health journey is going to take you. I hope you get to experience the freedom when you access your heart, learn to trust your gut, and finally engage in behaviors that feel sustainable and fit well into the current context of your life. My goal is to provide safety, compassion, and support in the quest to claim an emerging nutritional identity🫶🏼
Whether you are under-ordered, over-ordered, or have a complex combination of both, I will meet you right there — in the real world🌍
Is it Time to Bring Nuance Back?
Get started on the app-based Wise Mind Nutrition program and allow your mind and heart to expand. This is not just another nutrition program; this is the deepest dive you can take — the dive into your consciousness💜
I once heard that home is where the heart is, but home is where the systems live — where biological ecosystems and sociological systems converge in harmony. Home is where dialectics live, and nuance and authenticity prevail. You don’t have to “pick a side,” and you don’t have to commit to anything other than the ongoing pursuit of truth. There’s no limit to what we can achieve so long as it doesn’t matter who gets the credit. Together, we can accomplish what we can never accomplish alone.
In this stream of life, we can be both the water and the rocks — but always know when it is time to switch.
Onward 🌱
